Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got a call from my son's friend's dad, demanding I pick him up immediately. When I arrived, he marched me into the house and pointed at an Xbox controller lodged in the wall, informing me I'd be receiving the bill for drywall repair. FML
Today, I refused to play with my brother because he always breaks my stuff. Mom brought him into my room to force us to play together. He tripped and spilled coke on my Xbox, which smoked then died. Mom just backed out of the room with him slowly, like, "I see what you mean, we'll leave you alone now." I hate him so much. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Today, in an effort to try and be closer to my girlfriend's son, I bought him an expensive Xbox game I know he desperately wanted so we could play it together. He was excited, until he realised that I that paid for it. He snapped the disc and threw the pieces in the bin. At least I tried. FML
Today, I finally got my son to go for a run. He broke his neck 4 months ago and has been playing video games the entire time. I was a competitive runner once and run everyday. He kicked my ass, 21 minutes for the first 5k and he sped up. He was back playing video games when I finally got home. I think I lost a lung on the trails. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, in an attempt to keep my valuables safe, I snatched my PlayStation 4 controller from the hands of my 4-year-old nephew. Not knowing that it was connected, I ultimately yanked the PlayStation and the HD Flatscreen flat on their faces. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML
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Top comments
paprikacha 9
...WOW. That's some serious addiction right there. That boy needs therapy. Seriously though OP, you don't need to go that far. You can RROD an XBox 360 just by looking at it the wrong way. I should know -- I own one. -_-
marinus_fml 20
My dad doesn't know I have an xbox. He'd do the same thing hahaha. So I only play when he goes away on business trips which is regular enough anyway.
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Comments (390)
varp 0
First!
zcknight 0
Cool story bro.
ManBearP1g 0
Give him an instrument YDI for giving him video games
mikolyshka 0
never take CoD away from a guy. it's like women out of the kitchen; just not right. now go make him a sammich to cheer him up.
mintcar 10
^ Wow, that was incredibly lame.
paprikacha 9
Hon, you do realize that the OP is male, right?
emodude44 0
Am I the only one whos gonna complain about the sexism of "Sammiches" and the guy saying that women only belong in the kitchen? Because thats really out of line.
Quasar55_fml 18
#22 was probably fail irony/troll, no need to complain about it
trentfrompunchy 0
FUC*ING LOL
mamamiaaa_fml 12
COD > everything
sammiller4 3
I agree with 105. cod is my life :)
ScaughtieHolden 11
94, are you saying you don't like sammiches?
ruben_A_ruiz 0
Sammiller4 your hot
WallyTheWombat 0
... Why would you do such a horrible thing? He doesn't go around throwing YOUR stuff out the window does he? Those controllers are like 40 bucks a piece. If you didn't want him playing games then you shouldn't have bought him the system. If he paid for the system then you shouldn't be throwing expensive components of it out the window.
docscientist 10
Typical CoD player.
smileeee_fml 0
no one plays instruments anymore.
lidemocr 0
freaking nerds. get a life.
daleftw 0
110 - cod isn't your life, in your profile it says music is your life. just thought I'd point that out for the lols.
Jizwold 0
I'm not gona say cod is my life but if my mom did that I'd break her nose and make her clean up the blood from my carpet. Bitch isn't supposed to even TOUCH my shit.
RedPillSucks 33
Yet you live in her house and eat food she prepares.
starile 20
220, until you move the **** out of HER house, she can whatever the hell she wants with anything in it.
teh_uber_muffin 3
220. I hope you don't live to reproduce, and at the rate you're going, you probably won't.
cyberpimp 4
231 - So you're just a giant pussy?
SilenceIsSilver 0
254 Maybe he just respects his mom. I known grown men who would have the same reaction he would. In no way are they wussies.
Lalala1996 0
I bet you posted that from juvi
QWERTYCommander 5
@270 I respect my mom too. But that's because she earned my respect. I wouldn't respect my mom if she smashed my car up for no reason. I wouldn't respect my mom if she threw something I bought out the window. I'd respect her if she likes me and has a basic understanding of my hobbies and personality. I'd respect her if she works hard to raise me. No one should earn respect for no reason, not even if they gave birth to me. Everyone should earn respect. What if your mom was a murderer? Would you respect her? What if she was abusive? Would you still give her respect?
Farankusu 0
285 hit soldier right between the eyes. you shouldn't have to respect your birth-givers if they do very wrong things. or did wrong to you. I can speak from experience, many can. what you do after may differ. Sadly many people out there respect people that don't deserve it. unconditional respect is difficult to manage and deal with. not all do however.....
lakeybalboa 0
lol at u guys angry at 220 hes a boss
danielr1219 0
hahahahaha. fail
wmertz15 0
your son is a retard, no way u deserve it
SirHobnobs 0
dolphin dive!
tulsafml 0
he is in love somthing ull never understand.(:
fl0ffy 0
can't u talk to people on tht game..mabe he wanted to win or he's lonely nag loves his controller
fl0ffy 0
when I said nag I meant and..
angela3222 0
I'm a girl and I prefer the old ps3 backwards. can play ps2, and 1 games. black ops sucks btw. mw2 ftw..
powermad80 2
MW2 sucks, unless you have the hacks. which I have. Blacks ops pwns the shit out of mw2. *cough* Powermad8000 PSN
pooch159 0
bs mw2 has more of an open enviorment and is much more detailed
likeabaws 0
omg you noob. xbox is the shit no doubt. and your right about Mw2 being better but black ops doesn't suck.
schomes 0
just because u think black ops is better I think I might spam ur psn account
NoDontKillMe 19
Nuh uh! PS3 is awesome! t(~_~t) *cough cough* ImAGamerGirl07 *cough cough*
marinus_fml 20
My dad doesn't know I have an xbox. He'd do the same thing hahaha. So I only play when he goes away on business trips which is regular enough anyway.
_Itz_Meena_ 0
hahaa, I used to do that with my brothers xbox when he left. :p
marinus_fml 20
Lol I just imagine OP son dolphin diving out of the window like you do in Black Ops
GLiTTeRz 0
your dad isnt on business trips. he's finding a new wife to bring home, don't be surprised , I warned you.
nbk1405 0
personal experience? not everyone's parents go play around out side of marriage.
Oz87 5
i agreeeeeeee
Adorlee 11
Agree with 140, PS3s are so much better
1234USMC 0
185 Hahaha that's ****** up. You're an ass.
Epic_Phale615 0
I don't understand how people get hooked on video games. if you're gonna get hooked on something at least make it worthwhile and won't lead you to a lonely, destitute future.
xsimplytrue 1
hii..
deviking 10
I'm assuming you've never played a half decent game besides saving Zelda is more important then friends
GTFL_Later 0
you should be banished for trying to make him stop.
urbangladiator3 0
Amen!
LoveTheObsession 5
OP How could you?!?! I would be so pissed If my mom threw out anything thats mine! especially if it had to do with my call of duty!!! and FYL? F your sons life he's the one with the broken ribs all cause you threw his controller out the window.
paprikacha 9
...WOW. That's some serious addiction right there. That boy needs therapy. Seriously though OP, you don't need to go that far. You can RROD an XBox 360 just by looking at it the wrong way. I should know -- I own one. -_-
Anaxes 5
Perhaps you know that RRoD only occurs on the older models. I should know, because I am the fountain of all knowledge in the universe. Here's a plan for the OP: Go to the top of the Empire state building with the controller and throw it off. Darwinism at it's best.
baldou16 0
lol at 124
SilenceIsSilver 0
Lol at 124 indeed.
driverhome 3
Hey dumb-ass, my halo edition just rrod, so know what your saying before you open your mouth. Second ydi. They make brain surgeons play video games for an hour before surgery. So they can develop there hand eye reflexes.
Anaxes 5
#436- Dear Dumbass. If you're that ******* stupid to jump out of a window on the top floor of a 2 story building, there is no way you're a brain surgeon or anything that requires any higher functioning of the brain. Secondly, since you made the assumption I know what you meant by "halo edition", I'll just assume you mean the Halo 3 edition which nicely enough, is in fact an older model. So know what *you're* saying before you *type your stupid condescending crap*.
Avalanches 9
Purely psychosomatic! That boy needs therapy!
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
I'd follow it to..to be honest id probably follow out a 5 story window, maybe not for a controller but for the console I'd follow for sure
RyanX92 0
did he do a flip?
muxionHD 0
he probably dove through the glass.
MyMuse7 0
win ^
NoMoreRainbows 0
the question is: did he do a barrel roll?
realfigueroa 1
^ more win ^
lidemocr 0
from the way OP described it he's probably morbidly obese from sitting on his keister and playing xbox. a flip was no doubt out of the question...
DieselBT 0
#164 -- If this were so, there'd have been too much padding for any ribs to have broken! In fact, he'd likely have bounced into the street. (Next time, OP should make sure to mention overall yardage. Distance is just as important as height!)
hellosir23 0
DOLPHIN DIVE
werestep1 0
tht would be sick
Hazzywaz 0
Winz
Hazzywaz 0
Winz
zcknight 0
That is why Call of Duty players should always have Lightweight Pro on.
bolivianbeefstic 0
commando pro, get your classes straight!
j300zx 0
you both fail^^ Ninja perk idiots!
C6Racer 0
Marathon Pro Cold Blooded Pro Ninja Pro Silencer Nuff said.
GodinezXC 0
no, u get your classes right retard. lightweight pro gives you no fall damage.
mega00ant 0
^ your dumb
C6Racer 0
It's commando pro that gives you no fall damage, retard. Lightweight pro allows you to ADS faster from a sprint.
j300zx 0
You are all stupid. If he just had ninja he would have caught the controller before his mom even thought of throwing it out the window. That's how kick ass a ninja would think.
MissxXXItalia 5
Commando pro gives no fall damage in MW2... In black ops its lightweight pro.. OP did not specify which COD so calm down..
leprachaun405 0
lol in black ops there isn't commando anymore isn't lightweight pro does no fall damage lol so y'all are both technically right depending on what cod
mega00ant 0
black ops sucks BIG TIME!! ( besides zombies )
j300zx 0
#45 someone knows their shit haha.
C6Racer 0
Oh yea, I forgot about that crappy Treyarch game. IW FTW!!
zcknight 0
16- I'm talking in black ops terms.
bryanorange 3
damn gamers and fu#% call of duty ur gonna end up like da kid who dove 4 da controller + call of duty is so boring. y do people play it?
elat4lolz 0
^ halo playa :P
j300zx 0
#78 Why don't you stick with your hello kitty island adventure game.
MetallicaRules19 4
hahaha win^
mamamiaaa_fml 12
78-you really dunno what you're talking about.
marinus_fml 20
83 I love you. No ****
NoMoreRainbows 0
you must be black like me but kind of black person who sucks ass at any video game that doesn't involve a ball and/or hoop.
j300zx 0
108 Bromance? haha
Vindishu 2
Exactly.
WallyTheWombat 0
44 knows what's up. MW2 was all knifing, noob tubes, and nuke boosting. Black ops is much better IMO, although I thing the matchmaking system fir it sucks ass.
MrConned 0
I personally prefer ArmA 2; much more realistic.
jmrtheman 3
yea guyz y u crackers goin nuts ova da dumb azz game yo... lmao stfu dude
TigersLoveCinnam 0
love the newest Zombies with the monkeys. But they added so few achievements that were so easy to get too!
j300zx 0
#158 ^ You remind me of that one episode in chappelle show where the black man thinks he is a white kkk member. Except in your case it's the other way around.
Keyman1212 14
How about this? None of that shit exists in real life, so why is it in a ******* war-simulation game? I will never understand people who play CoD... Perks and shit... Really?
G00DA 0
yea 16 he said black ops not modern so you get your classes straight dick
sccrismyantidrg 4
Either way, I thought this joke was hilarious. Oh, and 34, YOU'RE dumb.
sccrismyantidrg 4
43- In Blops, with ninja pro, he would have heard his dad coming, then silently turned off his xBox and grabbed a book to appear productive.
tanjoodo 3
You guys make me like my first CoD game less...
mosquito19 14
let me guess. you baught the Xbox
marinus_fml 20
Let me guess. You spend too much time playing xbox, not enough time on English homework?
j300zx 0
win^^
grandpaearthling 2
maybe mosquito is high brow dawling
realfigueroa 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
it's the Internet who gives a **** bout spelling
WallyTheWombat 0
It's not hard to form a decent sentence, IDC if it's the Internet. If you're posting a comment, it means you want someone to read your little contribution to the post. lol @ baught
resinnet 0
Yes, I baught the xbox.
Bano360 25
137- IDC is not actually a word. How hard is it for you to write out "I don't care"? If you are going to complain about spelling or grammar, at least use real words.
monkeebalz 0
know, he "bot" the xbox. duh, lern how too spel rite. dam.
WallyTheWombat 0
323, IDC is a shortened version of "I don't care" and took no extra effort on your part to figure that out. I'm on an iPhone so I like to cut corners when I can due to having big fingers. Now I'd you read what I wrote in the first place, I complain about how hard it is to comprehend what he wrote. I don't care about grammar as long as I don't have to start guessing where punctuation goes in order to understand what I'm reading. Thank you.
WallyTheWombat 0
if*** iPhone typo+autocorrect : /
heimdallr 14
How about we just throw out all acronyms/initials we've ever known by that logic? Federal Bureau of Investigation, Cable News Network, United States of America, all 50 state initials, Laugh Out Loud, Laughing My Ass Off, **** My Life, etc.. There's a difference between shortening long names/strings of words out of convenience, and typing like you failed spelling class.
Metal_Avenger 9
Everyone man
sweet_candy_ 17
I would cry like a baby if my mom did that to my Xbox.
C6Racer 0
You're not alone.
mega00ant 0
same...
trick619 0
my two loves xbox and iPhone :)
j300zx 0
My three loves: girlfriend, ps3(better than xbox), and car. Sorry dude I had dido haha
silverstream20 20
agreed totally, ps3=win xbox=fail and my other loves: girlfriend and iPhone
j300zx 0
#12 He not she. The op is his dad not mom. And yes ps3 FTW!
T3P33_fml 0
don't say "Xbox", she has a name you know!
zr14 0
I would too:(
FlashBurn 13
Wait, a girl with an Xbox?! O_O Seriously though, gamer girlfriends are awesome.
j300zx 0
You sound like one of those guys who hears a girl playing online and you get all wild and stupid to get her attention. Just saying. My girlfriend is an xbox user and I am a ps3 person. Xbox are for girls and 15 year young kids. Get a man console and find a girlfriend.
gigglezbabii22 2
There is nothing wrong with xbox. I like it better than ps3. And btw, I know more females with ps3 than xbox so learn your shit. Oh, and yes I'm a girl.
Jay1D 0
I would like to point out that 40% of the gaming community is female, also how is xbox for chicks and ps3 for men? the console with the smaller controller is for men? also ps3 move, remind you of a *****?
hedgerow 0
I just love my guitar... Gamers are pathetic.
lidemocr 0
no joke ^^
WallyTheWombat 0
165, you're pathetic. It's a damn hobby just like your guitar. You're probably one of those people who picked it up to try to get girls and only learned like 4 chords anyway. Do you bring it to school every day cause you have to practice after school with your garage band? Btw the guitar is awesome and you're not worthy of either holding one or getting curb stomped vs me in gears of war >=)
j300zx 0
Jayd where did you get that stupid statistic from? 40% my ass. Was the first website you saw with that statistic the one you went with? probably. Walk into a gamestop and do you see 4 girls and 6 guys? no it's always a sausage fest. Start a match online is there 4 girls in the lobby? I doubt it. More like 25% is more accurate. I am not saying gamer chicks are not, there is just not as many as you say there is. Get your shit straight and do your research better.
j300zx 0
Jayd where did you get that stupid statistic from? 40% my ass. Was the first website you saw with that statistic the one you went with? probably. Walk into a gamestop and do you see 4 girls and 6 guys? no it's always a sausage fest. Start a match online is there 4 girls in the lobby? I doubt it. More like 25% is more accurate. I am not saying gamer chicks are not, there is just not as many as you say there is. Get your shit straight and do your research better.
emariebake 0
me and my husband are both loyal Xbox fans. ps3 owners just like to crack on us because they are disappointed with their $400 blu ray players. lol.
Dennisse_47 17
I love both X-box and PS3... But I guess I'd have to say that I preferably like X-Box better, but only because I had it first and used it longer before I played PS3. But I'd cry just as much if my parents threw either of them out my window :'(
teh_uber_muffin 3
200. Please get your own information, first. Most women aren't going to play your "sausage fest games." That's because most women have good TASTE in games, instead of playing Black Ops all the time.
kristelle_fml 0
same. and 136- tons of girls have xboxs & play things like CoD (:
linksta35 0
ur all wrong. it's all about wii(:
gkings18 1
were the same guy 36
MeasaV123 0
You all fail ass. Ps2 is obviously the best choice.
TheNewGuy03 29
i have to agree. i play all three systems, but my wii definitely gets the most play time! >< |the kid|
hardcore1414 0
Major win. Period.
hardcore1414 0
161-- Major win. Period.
Tink4401_tx 0
I play Xbox all the time and I don't see why guys think it's so impressive when a girl plays? Enlighten me?
kornhead09 0
there are two things most guys care about the first being games the second being sex usually for the second one to be satisfied there needs to be a female not necessarily human but that's besides the point.( they have the rub and tug but that's sub par) If these two could be combined it would be omgwtfpwnnoobdickvaginasupersayenshit
Tink4401_tx 0
^^Were you answering my question?
zozbasha 9
I hear you man
Dinkledorf 0
yeah, because that profile picture is totally a picture of YOU...
chasemoehlman 1
YOU fail ass. Dreamcast is obviously the best choice. Lol