Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Hey at least you two made up!
Psych101 9
Better both of you than just her. How would you have felt then?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
Nanall 15
You know, sex doesn't resolve everything. And maybe she'll be thankful that you didn't take advantage of her while she was drinking and then maybe you'll get some? Idk.
36591951 9
It says 'We were out drinking'. I don't think he's taking advantage of her
reallytho3 11
Sex doesn't solve everything but it damn sure helps lol
Yinky 6
I know who has a purity ring! *Points up*
MichellinMan 20
Please, read the FML again.
southernbelle_rn 16
And if you look at her profile, she mentions sex there as one of the things to make a perfect day. "Candy, sex, games, food, and sleep = perfect day"
rainbowkissies 14
nanall = hypocrite :D
ShannyAK 16
She obviously knew she was probably going to get drunk if the fml says "went out drinking" what do you expect
Shadomasta 5
Reading through your little bio confirmed my assumption of the kind of person you are. Take that judgmental crap somewhere else. Please and thank you.
mrsquiggles6900 5
That's why I hate some people. They are ******* hypocrites, and just say stuff to make themselves look better, but in reality it makes them look even more stupid than they already are. Stupid dumb ass chick. You just made me lose a little bit of faith in all humanity..
Bball_boy15 3
Sex doesn't resolve anything? Doesn't matter had sex.
oreily12 23
21, Damn straight
cacunt 1
child please
iMandyx3 5
Shut up o.o
elmousey 5
You guys are dumb, the girl didn't say sex is terrible and no one should have sex. She simply said sex doesn't solve everything. That is hardly hypocritical. While I agree nobody would be taken advantage of in this situation, if what she posted makes you lose faith in humanity you probably had very little faith to begin with. Besides, anyone who has had drunken sex knows it is usually hard to climax, and as drunk as OP sounds he wouldn't have remembered in the morning anyways.
valleyshooter 8
What she said and what she has in her bio doesn't make her hypocritical. She misread the fml yes. She also said that sex doesn't solve every thing. Correct. Now to explain why she isn't a hypocrite. In her bio, sex wasn't the only thing that made the perfect day. There were four other variables which would conclude a perfect day. There fore if they would have had sex it would not have solved anything. However this argument is irrelevant based upon the fact that the fml states they kissed and made up. So I'm wasting my lazy thumb energy by typing this. And **** yea for typing this and wasting some ppl's time reading this thinking I'll get to a point. Nope. Oh the thumbs down. I see it now.
fml121785 14
Sex, could be the cause of the fight and not from the point of he wanted it too much. Some girls have very high libidos and maybe she was not satisfied with their sex life. Maybe, their fight was about LACK OF SEX in their relationship. Maybe, he was the one who caused it and he was trying to make it up to her and they passed out before he could give her what she wanted in the relationship.
Yinky 6
Sex with the chick in 102's pic would solve my everything ;p
15949058 4
True. I agree with you completely
Nanall 15
Lmao. You people have no lives. At least I'm getting laid and not typing and arguing my life away.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, "idk" is right.
Yinky 6
115 I'm Reptar! I pull bitches. :p
megzzze 10
Go you for saying what u believe nsont let these dumb people^ tell you otherwise
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Hey at least you two made up!
ShannyAK 16
Yeah its alot better than fighting. Trust me
zandalee 20
Now you have time to have a serious love session without being pissed out of your mind. I don't know about everyone else, but I prefer sex while I have my wits about me...
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
I agree. : )
BRLHP 24
That's what I was thinking, just because OP didn't have sex doesn't mean his life is F'd. He resolved his problems with his gf, so after that there will be plenty more sex on the way.
BunchieRules 31
Well, beer is a very interesting beverage. Many things come along with it, passing out included.
Meettitan 14
What if they were drinking liquor?
BunchieRules 31
You're right. It should have said alcohol in general, but beer is what came to mind.
Udderboy 4
Or maybe they both just pulled a sexless innkeeper!
Psych101 9
Better both of you than just her. How would you have felt then?
may651 14
You poor person. No drunk sex? Ugh
dinorider_fml 4
Yeah it's not that bad. "Me and my girlfriend made up after having a fight and didn't have sex right away. FML"
pokefan813 16
First world problems...
dinorider_fml 4
My girlfriend and I*
willsmithjr 2
I think the keys here are the words "my girlfriend and I reconciled" consider the alternative, and finish your business when you wake up
caesari 14
You mean like now? Pretty sure he's not typing this while still passed out...
nublets 12
45- no shit.
rhaemese 9
Well, while you missed an opportunity to have nasty drunken sex, you can now plan a nice evening of romance and getting some piece of ass.
thetguy 4
Hahaha well spoken
trippythehippy 6
All I wants a lil peace & quiet. Gimme a lil piece & I'll be quiet. Lol
cheekyterier 13
at least you're back together..some of us are forever alone..
MichellinMan 20
Like me. No matter what, I can't get rid of these rolls. After all, I am made of tires.
zandalee 20
How tiring!
FirebirdF350 7
#8, your 14, you will live, promise, don't be so dramatic. Alone forever, what a load.
VoteForTaco 8
Am I the only one who wants to be forever alone?
Judahsh 8
8 dont pretend youll be forever alone. Youre very pretty. NO ITS NOT CREEPY! IM 15!!
scrappy23 4
Hopefully you both woke up at the same time and can continue where you left off.
morganrules123 10
They may wake up in puddles of vomit since they're too drunk to even have sex.
scrappy23 4
Considering they were on their way of getting back together. You fail at trying to make my comment look dumb.
scrappy23 4
^^ whoops wrong fml my bad ignore that
morganrules123 10
I wasn't trying to make your comment seem dumb. I thought by "pick up where you left off" you meant pick up with the sex. Sorry.
SquishFish 15
Huh sounds like someone's not getting back together.....
alshygirl 14
I don't think "getting back together" is referring to them having sex