Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
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Top comments
xivoricbutterfly 25
Personal hygiene for the win.
tiernang 21
Sounds like you got off on the wrong foot, OP. Hope he said sorry toe you!
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Comments (74)
WizzleMan17 11
"In the face!"
746278Ab 14
Ouch! That sounds like it would hurt a lot!
xivoricbutterfly 25
Personal hygiene for the win.
ariiewilliams 17
At least his toenails are probably nice.
crazytwinsmom 25
Not necessarily, but hopefully they were just cleaned before clipping. Otherwise OP could be looking at a nasty infection.
happysmile987 24
Well, OP wouldn't be looking at an infection since he wouldn't be able to see )clearly) if he had got one.
Jared900DUmpling 30
My question is, how does this guy have such perfect accuracy with clipping a toenail? Also, might want to tell him to move his spot so no none is injured next time.
buttcramp 21
practice makes perfect?
toaster123 11
I think it was just op's bad luck. The client didn't mean any harm.
Jared900DUmpling 30
True, but asking him to move and explaining the accident couldn't hurt.
tiernang 21
Sounds like you got off on the wrong foot, OP. Hope he said sorry toe you!
AnOriginalName 19
What a cornea pun.
extrasnipes 22
Eye don't see the humour in your pun^
Vamphyre73 12
You are obviously looking throigh the wrong lens then!
ArmlessSkydiver 7
That's why I recommend wearing protective eye gear at all times, including walking. The world is a dangerous place
_kyleG_ 34
Bubble wrap everything! Nothing is safe!
inner_peace 19
We all just need protective bubbles
swplphlsgois13 9
Was his name Josh.
thebash14 7
I don't always go to work, but when I do I make sure to get hit in the face.
Freethaawave 19
Lol off-topic, but is that you, Justin Bieber?
thebash14 7
Yea hit me up
stuntedat5000 4
I hate those bloody "I don't always" things
slooby_fml 25
I always wondered how those things could fly like that
toaster123 11
physics 101
varutha 16
The elderly score again!