Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I sliced my finger open on a blender while removing a sticker that said, “Sharp blade, remove carefully”. I wouldn’t have gone near the blade if it weren’t for the stupid warning sticker that needed to be removed to use it. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
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Top comments
audiophileMom 11
Well, warning her after the fact was redundant to begin with. You still don't deserve it - nobody does. Ouch!!
iamyummylicious 14
^This is what we call a brandnomer (a genericized trademark)This happens when a brand name product becomes a colloquialism and is synonymous with a type of product. Some common brandnomers are Kleenex (facial tissue), Popsicle (ice pops), Band-aid (adhesive bandage), Jell-o (gelatin desserts), Bubble Wrap (inflated cushioning), Clorox (Bleach), Photoshop (photo manipulation), Rollerblade (inline skates) U-Haul (box truck), Crock-Pot (slow cooker), AstroTurf (artificial turf), etc. *rainbow appears* - The more you know...
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Comments (59)
audiophileMom 11
Well, warning her after the fact was redundant to begin with. You still don't deserve it - nobody does. Ouch!!
cheaptrix 6
Well the girl had already cut herself, so it was a reminder to be extra safe
48Connor 10
This sounds like an ad for Stanley.... Was the company really important?
peachesncreem 21
It's just what we call them in Australia, even if they're of another brand.
iamyummylicious 14
^This is what we call a brandnomer (a genericized trademark)This happens when a brand name product becomes a colloquialism and is synonymous with a type of product. Some common brandnomers are Kleenex (facial tissue), Popsicle (ice pops), Band-aid (adhesive bandage), Jell-o (gelatin desserts), Bubble Wrap (inflated cushioning), Clorox (Bleach), Photoshop (photo manipulation), Rollerblade (inline skates) U-Haul (box truck), Crock-Pot (slow cooker), AstroTurf (artificial turf), etc. *rainbow appears* - The more you know...
bmwguy01 8
I have Stanley blades in my Kobalt knife! ;O
XanderJayNix 17
22 - you totally forgot all about the phrase "Kodak Moment" to describe something that's picture perfect!
False_Stupidity 42
#22 Also the phrase 'to Hoover the floor' meaning to vacuum it regardless of whether your using a Hoover or not.
iamyummylicious 14
SandI was obviously listing just a few examples. My dissertation was long enoug as is. There are thousands of these, but I do not possess the time to type all of them... Nor do I care, really.
iamyummylicious 14
Disregard the "sand" in the first part of my comment, lol.
BlvckScvle 2
Stanley? I prefer Martha Stewart, cause there plagiarized and when it comes down to it there blunt.
thefmlman2011 37
kinda a fml and YDI. YDI, because you weren't watching what your doing (im presuming), but other then that, fml
ninjaboy18 6
Well it's an art class.. Now you have extra red paint! :)
Brooksyp88 0
That was lame ^
Nightwing98 22
^ I agree
InstantRanbowMix 0
I'm not really into art so much, can someone explain what a Stanley knife is ? :)
dirtroadboy 7
Stanley knives to an Aussie is what an Xacto knife is to an American... Hoping this helps some in understanding.
InstantRanbowMix 0
Ah, I know what your talking about now. Ty
RahmEsHestos 5
You shouldn't be using the Stanley knife while talking to someone... YDI
TheDrudgeChild 4
Stanley knives are really easy to get injured with, especially if you're not paying attention (or getting distracted with the art project). FYL OP, watch out for those things instead of telling others to.
yahoowizard 16
Always better to teach with demonstrations though
katiedoll6 7
True but I like the painless ones
tanay97 8
Ouch...
Sybarite_fml 5
No kidding. He might have aids now
mikeymayhem_87 15
The dangers of art lol. Sorry you cut yourself OP!
drmountaindeww 0
Well, I think I'm going to go out and buy a Stanley knife now...
micahsmommy 13
Be careful!
noshatsherlockk 15
You still posted a comment though... On the bright side, your dog is wearing a wig.
Pentium_4 27
apparently Stanley makes troll knives
HeartOfLead 24
Monkey see monkey do, eh?
HeartOfLead 24
Curse you FML!!! (the above^ comment was made for # 19
cookeemonster 7
Oh the irony