It's the end of April, and what a month it's been! As a lot of you have noticed, some major changes have been made to FML. Some of you like it, some of you hate it, and the rest are wondering whether to love or hate it to look trendy. But some things never change: The Best of the Worst is here, containing stuff so odd, it wouldn't even make it to the Nearly FMLs. So, we've trawled through the old submissions, and prepared a nice selection for you.
For the people who have never seen this section of FML before: we get sent lots of FMLs, each day, every day. We only publish a few due to the fact that a lot are awful. Amongst those, we also get sent very odd stories, if you can call them stories. That's what we post in this column. This is a collection of the best of the worst FMLs that people have sent in to us. Check this month's selection!
Today, a girl took my front row seat in physics class. The bitch isn’t even hot tho, she ugly af. No tits, no ass, no face. Now Im stuck at the back of class and can’t see shit, and it’s all thx to some nose ring, bull looking ass bitch. Of course I can’t complain cuz I’m a guy. FML
Grass roots protester
Today, my wife pee beside the abu neh neh house..next day..the grass died…F the grass L
so my dad thought my mom was cheating so he cheated on my mom and then my mom found out and she got mad and then threatened to file a case against him and then he left the house then he refused to support his family cuz he tryna fight my mom. the girl my dad cheating with is pregnant, with him. FML
Today, I caught my dad making out with a fish. FML
Since I separated with my baby daddy,he has never contacted me and I am glad but his mother has been on my case to solve things with her son.Dear mother hen by this reason,by reason that it looks like I am married to you..
Wave of mutilation
Nothing’s worse than being the really few people NOT picked to perform in my large bachata dance group full of youngins (decade or even 2 younger than me) who I found out just started dancing a few months ago while I’ve been dancing salsa on/off for so many years & been pretty good at it. Devastated
Today, i just watched dancemoms. I wanna cry. Damn Abby for ruining her show by replacing the girls. I miss the real dancemoms and girls.
All grown up
Well, FML I only watch from people behind those who always chicky chicky together… What I have, annoying classmate in the same team. Colleague? Hell no… What did I do wrong? Huh? Why did I deserve this? FML You said, you just haven’t grow up or graduate to real life, social **** life huh? F**yo
Today, I was having sex with my wife. I fingered so hard I broke my finger in half. It’s still stuck up there. ????FML
That's it for this month. We'll be back next month for some more weird FMLs, because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird ramblings to try and get them published in here, it won't work. Take care!
Bonus track: Can someone translate this?
I'm so random!
Today, u feasted a dog with Gurley till pick rainbow boobs ! FML