By Having a pretty sister sucks. - United States - College Station

Relatable

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

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Love

Season finale

And today, on Dr Phil…

Technologically challenged

By KBBL - Canada - Edmonton

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

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By greeenbean - Samoa

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

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By "Growlithe1395"

Today, I finally got my hands on a Nintendo Switch. While unboxing it, I left the room to get a pair of scissors. When I came back, most of the box contents were missing and my little brother was standing there. It has been about 5 hours and I still haven't been able to find anything. FML

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5530

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By Mezzlegasm - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

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By perfectmoment - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I went to the print shop to get some work printed. The guy serving me printed my entire order wrong because he pushed the wrong button, so it had to be done again. He tried to charge me a fine for the mistake he made because "it's not a viable business otherwise". FML

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By jessiluvxx - United States - Kearny

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

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13110

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By YahItsMe94 - United States

Today, was my first day back at work since my wife got breast cancer. I come in and see some people with pink slips and frowns. When I get to my desk I find a pink slip, I go up to my boss and start to curse him out for firing me. Only to find out my pink slip was a fundraiser for my wife. FML

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13742

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By Kens - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

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By tinygirl

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

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54211

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By ToxicSiren - 6/2/2021 14:01

Judge and jury

Today, I posted a picture to Snapchat about being depressed. My close friend, who I share most things with, made fun of my post. That's the last time I share anything with her. FML

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715

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161

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By satanworshipper - United States - Hollywood

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

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30082

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By easily amused - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

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49933

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By Username - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

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41057

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By Anon

Today, I was working on an art commission for some random kid's OC and I didn't notice that I made the nose look like a man's private parts. The mother was upset and spammed my mailbox. FML

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1820

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By jgw

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

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5649

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By Jman6295 - United States

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

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31921

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By Murphy's law

Today, I was working on my laptop when the screen suddenly turned red. I was shocked since it's not that old, but my insurance just expired. On my way to the service I was thinking, "At least my car works!" Well... A few hours later, my car broke. FML

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2278

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By fUcKOAHdSAjl - United States - Manchester

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

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By mikki_arlert - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML

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10316

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By JJ - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML

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21313

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

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By Ouch - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

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By disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML

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42454

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By ohdear - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

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33734

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By Amara1717 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

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71988

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By fannyfitel123 - United States

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

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By Brown345 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

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21190

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By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

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By AsshatUncle - United States - Tampa

Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML

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By rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

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26322

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By froggylicious - Canada

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

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29909

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By ChaosFerret - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

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13564

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

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50704

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By yourewelcome - United States - Gainesville

Today, I thought I was doing a nice thing when I spent hundreds of dollars to get my friend a plane ticket home. She yelled at me when I gave it to her. Turns out, she planned on spending a few more months freeloading off me. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

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Top comments

By Rhian00 | 17

#5634039 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:13

Relationships are overrated anyway. Your pastime sounds much more fun!

By Soninuva | 41

#5634034 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:12

Don't worry, OP, you'll find the right one for you soon enough!

COMMENTS

By Soninuva | 41

#5634034 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:12

Don't worry, OP, you'll find the right one for you soon enough!

Pesticides | 19

#5634108 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:37

rabbit racetrack> any relationship

Jake_Hale | 7

#5634135 - Monday 19 August 2013 10:04

Honestly I think OP has a more interesting life.

ariiewilliams | 17

#5634149 - Monday 19 August 2013 10:27

Rabbits can't break your heart. Men can. Looks like OP chose a keeper

Narcoterrorist | 6

#5634155 - Monday 19 August 2013 10:42

How would you have any way of knowing that?

areakiller525 | 9

#5634493 - Monday 19 August 2013 17:38

I have a bunny

negb | 30

#5634884 - Monday 19 August 2013 22:34

OP, you sound like a flipping awesome person. Now let me go get some treats and my rabbit...we can have a rabbit circling party!

finalfantasyftw | 10

#5635956 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 18:04

#24, I had a rabbit I loved very much, but he ran away and broke my heart.

By incoherentrmblr | 21

#5634036 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:13

Try dating websites.

cjack188 | 13

#5634038 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:13

The awkward moment when you're not.........

cjack188 | 13

#5634053 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:16

Sorry he changed his comment, now my original one doesn't make any sense :/

leogachi | 15

#5634060 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:18

Maybe he did it on purpose. What a dick.

Ashamed_Sister | 60

#5634180 - Monday 19 August 2013 11:46

What was his original comment?

cjack188 | 13

#5634428 - Monday 19 August 2013 16:36

"First comment!!!!" Was his original post.

By Rhian00 | 17

#5634039 - Monday 19 August 2013 9:13

Relationships are overrated anyway. Your pastime sounds much more fun!

Mossears133 | 15

#5634198 - Monday 19 August 2013 12:13

I'm picturing OP having her rabbit run in increasingly elaborate pattens before the rabbit and its path of running start glowing bright blue and the rabbit then turns into an epic advanced rabbit creature loosely based on the pattern it was running.

Rhian00 | 17

#5634250 - Monday 19 August 2013 13:19

I wish I had a rabbit now. I want to try that out :/ apparently you can hypnotise chickens with chalk., so I might try that seeing as my sister has some :P