What is wrong with these dudes? - FML

What is wrong with these dudes?

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 311

You deserved it 459

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Same thing different taste

As good a time as any

By stephanie - 28/09/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 637

You deserved it 989

Are Men OK?

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 218

By TheGoodTwin - 14/07/2011 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 2 807

Wild accusation

By Allissa - 13/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband accused me of having an incestuous relationship with my deceased father, all because we haven’t had sex in months due to my grieving. According to him, no one grieves that hard for someone unless they were in love or fucking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 111

Aaand blocked.

By wtf fml - 20/03/2018 17:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 423

You deserved it 508

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 035

You deserved it 7 772

By Anonymous - 22/04/2016 18:50 - Canada - Coquitlam

Spicy

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 158

You deserved it 1 736

Smuckling twat

By Depressed - 13/05/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend is leaving me for his pregnant side chick, all because I “deprived” him of sex after suffering a miscarriage. To top it all off, the smug bastard actually told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll find happiness again someday, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Seriously dude? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 11:51 - United States - Desoto

Spicy

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 754

You deserved it 4 649

Appeal to nature

By Anonymous - 29/06/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 1 August 2019 0:52

It doesn’t sound like any of the nice ways to get butt sex seem to be working on you. Your boyfriend sounds like a real asshole.

smartjaguargurl 17

Thursday 1 August 2019 2:08

Pretend you think he wants you to peg him.

Comments

Kevin Fletcher 10

Saturday 3 August 2019 1:59

Sounds like it worked

ck87 7

Saturday 3 August 2019 7:54

dont be a prude and give the back door up once in a whike he qont need to make up excuses lol

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The Top

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 050

You deserved it 4 457

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 749

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 703

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 399

You deserved it 11 304

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 634

You deserved it 4 075

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 366

You deserved it 7 167

Today, my new electric car lied to me about its range, and the nine fast-charging stations I visited either didn't exist, were blocked off, broken, or not fast. We spent three hours sitting in the car in the rain waiting for the car to slow charge so we could make it home, and my wife is furious with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 764