Today, somebody in a store was talking about a girl who had a snake, and while I was walking out the store, an old lady asked me if I was the girl with the snake. I said no, to which she replied, "Oh, because you look like someone who would." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Alice Cooper has a snake, and Alice Cooper is a ******* badass.
Gubbon 17
Doesn't seem like a bad thing.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Is she saying you look like a chick with a dick?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Alice Cooper has a snake, and Alice Cooper is a ******* badass.
Gubbon 17
Doesn't seem like a bad thing.
blueknight1st 26
Are you goth?