Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Gngr_Grl 26
When my eyes initially scanned this fml, they caught the words "my dog acted out," "sex," and "with me." This was a much MUCH milder fml than the one my brain initially had a split second of horror over.
United Airlines 2
Sadly it only works with dalmations
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Comments (14)
United Airlines 2
Sadly it only works with dalmations
Glowworm56 27
You mean acting out a romantic scene from a Disney movie in real life doesn't result in marriage? Darn, no wonder running away from a dance from my partner at midnight and leaving my shoe behind on the steps never worked.
Glowworm56 27
The thing that makes this FML even better is that it even takes place in Britain like the film.
Gngr_Grl 26
When my eyes initially scanned this fml, they caught the words "my dog acted out," "sex," and "with me." This was a much MUCH milder fml than the one my brain initially had a split second of horror over.
Josh Jaron Avid 5
I kind half freaked seeing that too. after reading I was fine
Thor1012 28
Her surname wasn't deville by any chance?
Lalala579121 28
OP's would have to be since OP is female (or the mobile app is still screwed up, I don't really know).
Emi N. Jax 13
101 Dalmatians!! ❤️❤️
Lobby_Bee 18
The key for this to work is, it needs to be your 101th time. The path to happiness is only 100 more tries away, good luck my friend!
Pixiewolfe 46
Wow my first FML to be published! Haha yes in took place in London. Battersea park not regent's park sadly which would have made it funnier! I do live near the church where they get married to in the live action remake of it though! :)
clairecurses 19
Either your dog thinks your love life sucks, or you need to stop letting them watch 101 dalmations with you lol
RockPrincess26 16
I'm a little concerned with you and your dog using lead.