Sex and Intimacy: Weird assumption

Weird assumption

By writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 6 312

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 792

You deserved it 8 645

Pushy

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 22:02

Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 1 837

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 266

You deserved it 9 626

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 941

You deserved it 14 580

Ice-breaker

By bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 710

You deserved it 3 965

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 692

You deserved it 18 635

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 409

You deserved it 167

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 302

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 405

You deserved it 6 880

emjoy 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:21

That is horrifying. I hope you ended it there

causelifehappens 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 12:38

haha, what did you expect you met him online.

Comments

happyhak 5

Sunday 17 January 2010 14:41

You should of replied, "Yes, that is true: Big girls like doing that, but only two guys with big dicks" That would have shut him up!

SlightlyObsessed 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 16:38

Win. ^_^

unFmyLife 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 19:06

lol. Thats great!

Korrie32 2

Wednesday 13 September 2023 0:50

To*

SimplyDeviant 1

Sunday 17 January 2010 14:44

you should've kicked him

blackkat341 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 14:46

ouch that sux haha I wdve kicked his ass

xdre09x 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 15:06

(insert what #11 said) lol

perdix 29

Sunday 17 January 2010 15:16

He thought that since his **** looked like a hot dog or sausage, that it would remind you of food. Your bloated, flabby, corpulent body tells the world you love food too much. Therefore, he would believe that you would love to pleasure his food-shaped appendage. To counter that logic, grab one of your fat rolls and tell him that you got it because you like to EAT hot dogs, not just suck them. Then get out a knife and ask him if he is willing to make the sacrifice to satisfy you. That'll shut him up.