True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 166
You deserved it 10 410
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Top comments

Serisent 26

Perhaps, since she 'finally' agreed to it, she just wasn't ready? Or, perhaps your performance was also uninspiring to her.

392 6
HowieDoIt 21

So you fantasized about eating sticks? Are you sure you didn't enjoy it for another reason?

370 9

Comments

wvcheesehead1 9

sounds like you are a food guy... have her cook for you and then do some girl at the olive garden instead... she may even smell like parmesan.

2 12
gunnerblaster 21

I wouldn't mind taking a crack at your girlfriend. Chances are, dude, you just suck in bed.

22 3
cl4ptp 18

your user name is incredible!

5 3
caysters 12

If it was the first time for both of you, that isn't surprising. My first time with my ex was also his. It was the weirdest, most awkward thing ever.

7 0
sig4life 18

It takes 2 and it doesn't sound like you were that great either. Especially when you start thinking of food. That is unless OP is into that?

12 2
resiak 1

You totally deserve it...and by it, I mean the breadsticks.

1 3
perdix 29

Your girlfriend may have a yeast infection. Unfortunately, it was barely enough to get your dough to rise, but enough to give you breadstick fantasies.

6 1
buckdharma 36

Maybe she was daydreaming about Red Lobster because you're an "endless shrimp." This might of been the reason why she was a dead fish.

15 0
katykoolcat 13

At least you didn't bleed like my fiancé haha.

1 7