Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
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Top comments
xNephilim 18
Sigh... This is just stupid. You're using slang yourself. The last time I checked, 'fucktard' was no real word.
meganl_fml 0
ugh one time i was looking for a pic to upload of me and found one of my mom and her toys i was scared for a long time after that
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Comments (53)
tennistjp2 0
LOL haha ur moms...... LOL
mils_fml 0
WTF is wrong with your mom. Tell her to **** your dad
caroline360 0
maybe they're divorced?
xNephilim 18
Couples use sex toys all the time. Even big black rubber cocks.
gothnotemo 0
Put it in a hot dog bun then go up to her and say. "hey mom, how's a hot dog sound? U can chew it, suck it, whatever u want.". Then show it to her
flor1dagator7 0
Hahahaha #21 that's disgusting though
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
YDI for using the word '****'. I hate how these ******* morons who use dumb slang. it's called a PENIS. And actually, you found a *****. God, use correct terminology, you fucktards.
xNephilim 18
Sigh... This is just stupid. You're using slang yourself. The last time I checked, 'fucktard' was no real word.
lostcrazydiamond 10
So, 23, during sex what do you say? "Thrust your erect penis into my ****** repeatedly! Harder! Reach ejaculation!"
Sidneh 0
That reminds me of Lock Stock & Two smoking barrels xD A guy get's beaten to death with a big black *****. Gross you had to find your mom's though o.ô
popoman 0
Use it on yourself. You'll become closer to your mother. See, there's always a positive solution.
touchesthelight 8
LOL, seriously?! Be sure to wash it first, though :P
CrystalDragon45 0
I would have probably screamed if that happened to me.
Cristaderzi 0
In Alabama you could have her arrested! Sad huh??!!
Anteezy 7
I find this FML kind of hard to believe, so your mom kept a severed penis from a black dude in her cabinet? Or did she kept a ***** in it? That would be way less shocking. And if it's the latter you should learn English OP and ydi
Tarak_fml 7
you're a f*ckin idiot. of course it wasn't a severed penis from a black guy
xNephilim 18
Ah, the stupidity of some people.... Penises usually aren't made of RUBBER, which the OP clearly stated it was, so stop being an idiot.