Today, I found out the coworker I was seeing gave me the clap. She resigned two weeks ago and isn’t answering her phone. I can’t blame my wife because she was a virgin when we got married, and has only been with me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I gave him an STD I didn’t know I had. Before sleeping together, he asked me to get tested. Feeling lazy, I got some fake test results from Google Images. He called me a few weeks later, saying he has the clap. I told him he must've got it from someone else. He was a virgin. FML
Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 30
I love how your first instinct is to try to blame your poor wife. That's even more disgusting than your cheating with your coworker. May your dick fall off.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
Perhaps you should be telling her that you're a scumbag instead of us.
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Comments (14)
DanielleinDC 33
YDI for cheating on your wife and presumably not wearing a condom when you did.
fishyrael 28
Blame your wife? If your wife is faithful, she'll know it came from you. So I can only imagine if she called you on that, your intent was to gaslight her. Your wife deserves to know what kind of person she married. I say person because I can't in good faith call you a man. I hope she gets everything in the divorce, and that your next partner gives you an STD from cheating on you.