Miscellaneous and Embarrassing: Lost it - FML

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

agreeclassic 110

vote type 1 677

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End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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TOP COMMENTS

DLBL 20

Saturday 5 July 2025 18:19

it's supposed to be a group effort.

DLBL 20

Saturday 5 July 2025 18:20

it's supposed to be a group effort.

Comments

DLBL 20

Saturday 5 July 2025 18:19

it's supposed to be a group effort.

DLBL 20

Saturday 5 July 2025 18:20

it's supposed to be a group effort.

Hangryko 31

Saturday 5 July 2025 21:53

Nice job, Leroy Jenkins.

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Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML

agreeclassic 786

vote type 1 1 464

Today, I found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a senior in high school. I’m not sure who the father is since I was in a situationship with one guy after my ex, and I broke it off last Halloween. My parents strictly forbade me from dating until I was in college, so I don’t know how to tell them. FML

agreeclassic 275

vote type 1 992

Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

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Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

agreeclassic 57 232

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Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

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Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

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