Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
My guess is you won't pass inspection. I'm subbing for Capt. Obvious on the Psychic Hotline today.
birds_fml 7
Man... I hope you've got a Tide stain pen LOL!
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Comments (97)
DrRick 0
When I was in the Navy, I took my whites to a laundromat. Little did I know that the user before me dyed something red and didn't clean out the washer afterward. The result: all my white uniforms came out pink. (Corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H should have thought of that.) It took the rest of the day to bleach out the pink tint. The uniforms fell apart a few weeks later.
navybrat91 0
That's crazy, the same thing happened to my brother while he was at the Academy!!! I still haven't let him live it down.
patuxIT 0
your a ****** dumbass shipmate. why are you wearing your whites all day anyway? you should only have them on like 5 minutes before your inspection. whites are gay as ****.
a_smiling_child 0
I hope you told your PO and he understood...
shiarrael 13
In some places you have to wear the uniform all day on the day of an inspection.
psycho_jugalette 0
wear it all day yes. but usually inspec is in the morning then. or u can change right b4 inspec.
buzzy_fml 0
You mean they actually have to inspect you to make sure you know how to dress yourself? You know most other employers just take it as read that you can dress yourself, right?
jcbinglis 7
You really know nothing about the military do you?
CJ090 0
Yo whats w/ all these navy posts nowadays erybody wanna join my branch like gosh lolz NAVY RULES!!!
biscuiteater 0
FYL But... Isn't that why you have a clothing allowance? To have spares? lolz Thanks for serving, though. =) I can't wait to start RTC myself!
GreenSideDoc 0
Green Side ftw!
psycho_jugalette 0
clothing allowance is once a year. and covers half of what u need. 1st year it's like 100 ish cuz u shouldn't have to replace anything. after that. it's like half of what u need to replace majority of uniforms. not nearly enough to cover it all.
SailorLove 4
RAH!
DameGreyWulf 1
WHAT BOY!? YOU SOME KIND OF SISSY!? CAN'T HANDLE LADY PUKE ON YOUR WHITE UNIFORM!? OOO LOOK AT ME MY CLOTHES ARE STAINED AND I CARE LIKE A WOMAN!
wonderweasle02 0
navy "inspectors" have no mercy for shit like that. but thank you navy for giving women, who also happen to bleed once a month, a completely white uniform. we all appreciate it. lol