Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
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Top comments
lordbane2110 14
Oh, that's genius, you should have replied with "Go Away Anna"
denaeb123 24
Even though you were trying to have just a few minutes of privacy you have to admit that that is extremely adorable!
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Comments (70)
Abhinow 7
How is this FML?
bluebluhblou 15
"honey, I'm building one right now. except It's not made out of snow, It's made out of poop"
rhysfucker 24
"Do you want to build a poop snake? It doesn't have to be a poop snake..."
patrickalamo 48
Tell her "Mr Hankey said no!"
patrickalamo 48
Tell her "Mr Hankey said no!"
may14th 26
my little sister does the same thing, but I find it super cute :)
Ozzien 26
Your daughter may just be a genius. I'm gonna try this one at home :)
Harold6858 9
LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOOOOOO
lmbachman 23
Bathroom break: they will find you.
wvcheesehead 13
That would have slowed me... I would have been frozen on the pot.
Jinxsie 27
I'll only say FYL if she does this a lot! Otherwise, YDI but in a good way because that's pretty cute coming from a 3 year old.