By skidmark - 08/12/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 427
You deserved it 2 671

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Heeeerroin 5

Honestly thought it said Jizzy...

I'd expect nothing less from walmart shoppers.

Comments

bossroyd 4

I'm sorry OP, but Walmart is a dangerous place and we have to go in at our own risk

TicklingIsFun 0

I went to walmart at black Friday. It was hell within a hell within a hell.

BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Would that still be considered drunk driving?

If the key is in the ignition, then yeah. Mall cop!

A "hit and run" charge could also be applied, no?

rexgar2000 10

only if it's a motor operated vehicle. like a scooter with a motor then yeah.

You can get it for riding a bicycle while drunk.

Follow him around the store quietly whispering the old Chinese curse "May you come to the attention of those in authority" at him. PS. Your name is "skidmark". Does this imply how scared you were?

Skidmark? Haha. Change your underwear, bro.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Why were you standing completely still at Walmart?

amanda_say_whutt 9

Maybe he was in line paying for something ?

Someone took Fast and the Furious to a whole new elderly level.

Poor OP! Walmart is a decent store, however some of the most peculiar people shop there.

shaolinshogun 0

that's what you get for shopping at Walmart

Oh dear me, then how am I supposed to survive in this economy with wal-mart actually having low prices?

marpay 11

I love Walmart. Where else can you go grocery shopping in the middle of the night?

I was standing in front of walmart then I took an arrow to the knee.

I got detention yesterday for punching a kid who said a "then I took an arrow to the knee" joke. haha.

I would have liked your comment, but I went back to Karkand.

Can I appeal to the Mighty FML Deity to erase all "arrow to the knee" comments, followed by immediate testicular/ovarian removal with extreme alacrity?

marpay 11

The almighty docbastard has spoken. Let his will be done.