Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, after just returning to work from recovering from an e-scooter crash, a man raced through a red light on his e-scooter while I was crossing the road, and nearly collided with me. If I hadn’t frozen in place, he absolutely would have. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I was riding an electric scooter on my way to work when a car sped out of a driveway and hit me. Not only did I end up in hospital, but I missed my job on the second day back. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I blacked out while riding my electric scooter. Luckily, I was quickly jolted awake when my chin hit the tarmac. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
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Top comments
Heeeerroin 5
Honestly thought it said Jizzy...
smdthinks 0
I'd expect nothing less from walmart shoppers.
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Comments (123)
rattusrattus 19
100 points, 100 points 2x combo, 100 points 3x combo! New High Score, please enter your initials.
Jasonf6 0
Did you call the cops and have him arrested for DUI?
KiddNYC1O 22
You should've had your force field on.
bluhair 0
that's awesome
Scarlettx7 0
At least you wasn't the only one embarrassed
Donniehw 5
You weren't* If your going to comment, use correct grammar.... Yes, I'm sure someone will comment on my grammar in this comment. To you I say, "balls to you and good day."
benderbot19 0
*you're.
insurednotoriety 0
That's all you got? Really? This is Walmart we're talking about here; a wheelchair-bound booze hound playing hot wheels with you should be the LEAST of your worries..
Katja004 6
Funny
TB1_fml 14
If that happened anywhere else, I would agree that your life sucks. But , just for hanging out in Walmart, you deserved it!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Just for wal-mart? **** you, prestegious ****...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Just for wal-mart? **** you, prestegious ****!!!
Donniehw 5
Throw something heavy and hard in front of it.... I'm sure the people he ran over will find it funny when his jizzy scooter stops suddenly and his gut slams against the steering wheel... Ok well maybe not slams... Because they go real slow but you get the point... Btw I like to put "…" at the end of things...
Arxikist 3
And this is why only Steers and Queers come from Texas.