Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML
Today, after just returning to work from recovering from an e-scooter crash, a man raced through a red light on his e-scooter while I was crossing the road, and nearly collided with me. If I hadn’t frozen in place, he absolutely would have. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I was riding an electric scooter on my way to work when a car sped out of a driveway and hit me. Not only did I end up in hospital, but I missed my job on the second day back. FML
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML
Today, I blacked out while riding my electric scooter. Luckily, I was quickly jolted awake when my chin hit the tarmac. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Heeeerroin 5
Honestly thought it said Jizzy...
smdthinks 0
I'd expect nothing less from walmart shoppers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
perdix 31
He meant it was an accident he ran into you -- with a name like "skidmark," I'm guessing you're gross even by Walmart standards. He was obviously using the scooter to "take out" cute girls. You Walmart people have some crazy courting rituals.
eddyg94 11
probably ought to have seen/heard a drunk on a scooter coming?
1seven1 0
Not a bad day of shopping at wal-mart where fantasy/horror land meet
geon_olam 17
well the song says that its the most wonderful time of the year and songs dont lie.
michellelynnae 0
Wal-Martians
rubberduckie94 13
"Tarnation at these kids today standing still in the aisle blocking the metamucil. back in my day we just grabbed our shit and got out. I'll show him to stand still its almost time for the peoples court i have to get home.". BOOM.
Donniehw 5
I read that in the best old drunk dude voice I could think of xD Herbert is awesome...
daydreamer244 13
He obviously enjoyed it ;)
vip3r20 8
maybe you should've moved...
taternuts 0
Moving targets are harder to hit, next time don't be so lazy and try to get out of the way. I'd honestly feel bad for you if you didn't stand there and watch two more people get hit without warning them
ilovejay1314 7
YDI for shopping at walmart.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You're probably one of those rich 1% CEO assholes who spend their money on expensive things.
farhil 14
No, he's probably a 12 year old who has never worked for a dollar in his life.