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By  SWC_Penguin  |  17

Come on. You know 8 years-worth of annoying habits your husband has. You know none of this new guy's annoying habits, but trust me, HE HAS THEM. Your ignorance does not mean he's perfect.

  nightowl713  |  25

I doubt very seriously she found the love of her life on vacation. It takes more than a few days to fall in love, and more time than I'm assuming she's had away from her husband. Op, you've been married 8 years, if it's a happy marriage why mess it up over, what someone previously put very well as, infatuation?

  Miki101  |  18

"Romeo and Juliet" is a play. It's not real. Despite what literature and chick-flicks will have you believe, love is something that takes time.

  Miki101  |  18

163, they did experience "love at first sight," which is what 159 was probably trying to say. Yes, it is a tragedy, and in no way was I trying to say that's it not. I was simply focusing on the fact that its not real so you can't use it as a bais for love.

  kims0706  |  10

Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forest Gump! I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but I give Jenny all my love! - SNL skit
Also, after 8 years she very well might be extremely committed to her husband, so wether is infatuation or more, I could imagine it would be troubling to feel strongly about someone else. Good luck op, I hope things turn out for the best

  Sliver1991  |  26

#159 - Just because one might have a crush at first sight, doesn't mean it leads to a relationship that will work. Romeo and Juliet barely interacted and were young, so telling them they can't be together was one of the worst things to say if you want them apart.


Dear #162,
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story nor is it tragic. It's a three day relationship between a 13 year old girl and 17 year old boy that caused 6 deaths.
the people who actually read it

By  jessherself13  |  21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  israelnotjacob  |  20

Agreed. People who use not being happy in their current relationship as an excuse to cheat are douche bags. If you're not happy with your current one end it. After that you can do what you will, but at least leave the person using some integrity.


Really "found the one"? No you have the one. You agreed to marry this man so you obviously once had love and passion with him. That doesn't abruptly go away or die. It's an eternal burning flame. It may be low now but all you need to do is add a little kindling and a small spark and you're back in business.

  EvilUndead  |  9

80, That's fairy-tale thinking and you might want to do a reality check. Life is not a "happily ever after" fairytale. This "flame" is in no way eternal - it can and will go away, unless both couples are extremely compatible or unless they BOTH work very hard to preserve it. I've seen people divorce after 20 years of living together and having grown up children, plus there are plenty of stories where married people start hating each other so much that they end up assaulting or murdering their partnerr.

  sens3sfailing  |  24

While I don't think it's as extreme as the way 90 put it, I agree, kinda. You need to work on a relationship just like both 80 & 90 said, but if you don't, it doesn't mean the passion goes away for the person necessarily. It also doesn't mean that if you work hard enough you will be happy. Sometime people change, sometimes you need to let things go, sometimes your spouse gets transformed into hitler...well maybe not, but I would never be happy when married to hitler...just sayin'.

  Adovock  |  6

It's more about that he's encouraging his sort of behavior. Cheating is a plague we need to remove from our society. Just because it happens, doesn't mean you should encourage it. That's a stupid statement.

By  snufflebubble  |  13

It all depends on how your relationship with your husband is. If you are unhappy- this might be a way of telling yourself something needs to change. If you are happy with him - talk to him about, be careful how you bring it up, but if you're in a healthy relationship he should be able to help you and reassure of your relationship.

  shjenn  |  7

If you're in a happy relationship, I highly doubt you are going to be experiencing any feelings for another person. There would be no need for your heart or mind to wonder towards something else. I'm in the happiest relationship of my life and I don't even look twice at the people who hit on me etc anymore. You clearly aren't happy if you can't focus on that one person... IMO

  Bibliovore  |  26

#94, some people are built that way and others aren't. Not all people are only attracted to one person in life, or at a time. Humans tend toward serial monogamy, but there's a fair amount of polyamory, too -- and, unfortunately, a rather large amount of cheating, which suggests more people have polyamourous feelings than are willing to be honest about it.

  snufflebubble  |  13

#94, I can see your point, and I always thought the same, but I've been in a very long relationship now, and I love him dearly, but in recent times I have wondered about other people and other possibilities. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong by feeling this way, it's just human nature. I would still consider our relationship a 'happy' one, however, because he's who I choose to go home to. If this ever changed, then things would be different.

  DjeePee  |  24

Shjenn made me lol. Let me explain some human psychology for you, my dear naive sweetheart. Loving someone and being in the happiest relationship of your life does not mean that you have lost the ability to fall in love with another person. If everything in your relationship goes as smoothly as possible, it isn't hard to stay loyal, even with your thoughts. But when the troubles come, when you're pissed angry, bored as fuck, starting to get delusional... you're mind start to wander. "What if...?" And that's the moment when your flesh is weak, when you have to work (fight?) for your relationship and against all those upcoming feelings that want something 'new'.

I confess, sometimes I play with the thought of being with someone else. Sometimes I even get sexually aroused by it. But I don't cross that line any further, because I know that, how angry, bored and delusionaled I occasionaly may be, I am generally happy with my partner. That's all that matters.

  SaturnV  |  25

Under totally ideal conditions, I agree with 94. In theory, if a single relationship is meeting all of one's requirements for happiness, then one wouldn't have to look elsewhere for those needs to be satisfied. However, conditions are rarely 100% ideal, and if one of your 'needs' happens to be multiple relationships, no ONE person will ever be able to fulfill that need, no matter how perfect they are for you otherwise. Also, I reject the idea that wandering thoughts are a sign of an unhappy relationship in and of themselves. I think fantasizing about other relationships is a pretty common phenomenon, both among happily and unhappily coupled individuals.


It's a scientific fact that only 3% of mammals are monogamous and that it is in fact human nature to have a wandering eye. You honey are not being honest with yourself. Happy or not someone, somewhere will catch your eye even if it's a glimpse. Also you can't honestly say you don't fantasize or dream of others because that is something you have no control over.

By  elephantsarecute  |  16

I think you need to talk to your husband about your feelings. Communication is really important and if you feel like your husband isn't the right one for you anymore then you have some things to work out.

  ArcheryCole99  |  12

Don't do what 68 says. Cheating is wrong, no matter what.

By  Serisent  |  26

At least do your husband the courtesy of talking things over with him before dropping into bed with this other person. Also, remember that you must have loved your husband at one point, and maybe you two can work together to figure out why that changed.

By  KingDead  |  18

If you've found the right on, you should fight to be with that person.. But don't be naive... It might seem like he's your soul-mate, but he could just be better than your husband.. Or your lost in some day dream since your on vacation.. It can all seem so much more romantic in an exotic place. Do what's right for you.

By  inthedopeshow  |  17

Marilyn Monroe's movie called it the 7 year itch, but maybe you've managed to hold out for 8. Perhaps your relationship is just in a slump and you've forgotten what it feels like to have that excitement. If you love your husband still and can revitalize the relationship, things could still work out for you. This is, of course, coming from an outsider with no insight into your life. Good luck, OP.

  inthedopeshow  |  17

I don't believe Marilyn Monroe to be a good influence in any way, shape, or form; I was simply referring to a famous movie that fits the scenario. Assuming makes an ass out of you and me, but mostly you.

  Inciter  |  33

Until you get to the other side and realize that it's fucking awful. OP, you've been married for eight years. This other guy is probably exciting because he's new to you. Just sit back and think. Do you really wanna throw away an eight year marriage for a guy you just met?

  Sonfang  |  19

#27, Perhaps they met and talked with no intention of even sleeping together. It could have been a casual mingle, at a bar or on the beach, perhaps on an activity night on cruise ship. You never know.

As for everyone saying that OP and her husband have been married eight years just talk and work it out, I agree they need to talk but if she's met her soul mate she will never again be happy in her current marriage. Soul mates are a piece of you, someone or thing you search for each lifetime and sometimes they come in at the oddest moments, but if OP has found that piece she deserves to be happy.

Op talk to your husband, talk to the other person and find out what your heart says, what your soul says, and where you want to be.