Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
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Top comments
Psych101 9
Even if she did think it was pepper spray, why would she scream? It's not like a knife or a gun, you can't hijack a bus with it...
porp1 4
Later, that lady caused a bomb panic when someone took out a pack of gum, then when a man was eating a banana, she apparently stopped him from shooting himself, and finally, she knocked a knife out of a child eating a popsicle.
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Comments (74)
Kiki242 19
Did you punch him back?
kikimonole 13
I love how she thought you were going to spray her when she didn't do anything. Huess that's what happens when someone doesn't think before they act. Sorry about the punch, OP.
DocBastard 40
To be fair, getting sprayed in the eyes with peppermint hurts like hell too.
KML92 6
Seems like you know this from experience doc
shawnaishere 14
Why would anyone use pepper spray on an old old lady in a bus, wouldn't everyone notice?
perdix 31
It's West Virginia, oral hygiene is very foreign to them. The old bag would have dropped dead if you whipped out a toothbrush.
NickKuiper 8
Reminds me of the "Get Smart" airplane scene.
XxKillerStormXx 13
Lolz
FuzzyJack 15
What a paranoid. I wonder what she was thinking. "Let's see what that person is holding in front of their own mouth. Oh my! It must be pepperspray. I might get mugged. Better start screaming!"
dmac843 2
Damn paranoid hillbilly meth freaks!
smallshaft 10
It's bath salts. Much Better than meth!
kmt12890 5
Wtf?! There's no hope for humanity!