Health, Poopoo peepee, Food and Allergies: Not sponsored by Klondike bars (but feel free to send us some) - FML

Not sponsored by Klondike bars (but feel free to send us some)

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I realised that on top of my gluten intolerance, garlic intolerance, and just the general having to poop way too much in 12 hours, apparently my system does not like ice cream anymore. I get diarrhea after eating any amount. And I love Klondike bars! FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 94

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Same thing different taste

For Life

By worshippingatthethrone - 17/02/2022 10:00

Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 1 647

Stupid rule

By mommy - 23/06/2019 02:27

Today, I’ve been violently ill with diarrhea, and have been for past three days. I finally discovered why. It's because I ate a piece of candy off the recently-cleaned floor last week. My immune system is so weak, it can’t respect the 5-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 1 361

I can't win

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 02:00

Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 114

How's the diet going?

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 20:01

Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 1 273

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 438

You deserved it 119 203

By Bec99 - 15/02/2019 19:00 - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 458

You deserved it 145

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 350

You deserved it 4 043

By ShaunBomb - 11/12/2010 06:11 - United States

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 739

You deserved it 3 138

Overdoing it

By Finnbjoern - 08/10/2022 16:30

Today, I had 16 freakin' protein bars as a meal, the only meal of the day, as well as 5 apples after. I'm feeling like Yellowstone erupting in my guts right now. It hurts as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 2 213

Health kick

By What am I supposed to do? - 31/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 167

Next

Top comments

Dr_Alex 10

Sunday 29 June 2025 15:57

Q: "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" A: "I'd sprint to the bathroom faster than Usain Bolt -- and still come back for seconds!"

poopface82 23

Sunday 29 June 2025 16:27

Well shit. In this case literally.

Comments

Dr_Alex 10

Sunday 29 June 2025 15:57

Q: "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" A: "I'd sprint to the bathroom faster than Usain Bolt -- and still come back for seconds!"

poopface82 23

Sunday 29 June 2025 16:27

Well shit. In this case literally.

PuppiesKisses 19

Sunday 29 June 2025 16:59

Have you ever heard of Mast Cell Activation Syndrome?

DLBL 20

Monday 30 June 2025 5:18

Oh man, autoimmune conditions are so hard to treat. I hope OP finds an expert.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 29 June 2025 19:25

Time to go see a gastroenterologist?

Hangryko 31

Monday 30 June 2025 1:08

I have the same sensitivities. It really sucks. :(

roryab 8

Monday 30 June 2025 5:47

what a shitty life it will be but enjoy what you want

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The Top

Today, after an exhausting renovation, we finally took some time to cook a nice dinner. We got to relax for a full hour before our downstairs neighbour informed us that any water we use leaks through her ceiling. Four experts came. No one can find the leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 369

You deserved it 236

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I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 417

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I agree, your life sucks 43 856

You deserved it 5 203

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 211

You deserved it 33 267

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

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You deserved it 286

Today, I recently got into a relationship with a 15 year-old. I’m 17. All my friends are calling me a pedo. Am I the only one that doesn’t think the age gap is weird? FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 430