Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
it ain't easy bein cheezy :)
Charlottey 1
Today I was trying to have lunch when my young stupid co worker came in. I mean, i was just trying to eat my lunch? I have breathing problems, and he starts to think I'm aroused by him.. he wishes! Then he rushes out the room because apparently I smell but I actually shower every day and it was just my cheese sandwich. Then he posted about me on FML. FML!
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Comments (71)
Roflsauruz 12
I know a guy who breathes like that, especially while he's eating, and he was well built and around my age - not old, or fat. Turns out his esophagus and jaw were both "crushed" in an accident of some sort.... As for the smell.... He might have a digestive problem and has bad breath because of it. Or maybe one of those body odor diseases where he really can't control it, no matter how often he showers or puts on deodorant/body spray. Or, maybe he -is- just old and fat. But you'll never know if you just sit on the sidelines and judge.
shadwolf99 2
Since when is heavy breathing perverted when all he is doing is walking into the room? YDI
FudgeLOVE 1
Dear OP, are a judgemental bitch. i hope you chqbge your ways and maybe say something to the poor man, instead of complaining to the internet about it. ..