By MeaganElizabethM - United States - Steubenville Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 21590 You deserved it 4555 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML I agree, your life sucks 39364 You deserved it 3808 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alexo - United States Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML I agree, your life sucks 29093 You deserved it 2514 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crimsoncon Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML I agree, your life sucks 36393 You deserved it 2792 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Flower Mound Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML I agree, your life sucks 44551 You deserved it 3300 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 30/8/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool 10 out 10 for execution Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML I agree, your life sucks 1133 You deserved it 542 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Marcella_03 - United Kingdom Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML I agree, your life sucks 27668 You deserved it 15925 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad - United States Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML I agree, your life sucks 36873 You deserved it 8326 289 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beer guy Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML I agree, your life sucks 34931 You deserved it 2474 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HellaBomber91 - United States Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML I agree, your life sucks 11048 You deserved it 40531 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Duchess Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML I agree, your life sucks 7382 You deserved it 692 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swag papi - Australia - Perth Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 21906 You deserved it 8290 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Poland - Polska Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML I agree, your life sucks 62396 You deserved it 5590 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By geeklove - United States Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML I agree, your life sucks 34638 You deserved it 7466 478 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what even - United States - Athens Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML I agree, your life sucks 33546 You deserved it 4821 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Egypt - Cairo Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML I agree, your life sucks 30699 You deserved it 2409 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UkuleleTime - United States - Garner Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 25999 You deserved it 1828 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By amazed - United States - Frisco Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML I agree, your life sucks 20307 You deserved it 3822 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Irrationalwife Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML I agree, your life sucks 2289 You deserved it 193 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By can’t sleep - 17/6/2020 17:04 Get it on, bang a gong Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML I agree, your life sucks 1734 You deserved it 292 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 38084 You deserved it 8871 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fgs - 29/11/2020 23:01 In the zone Today, after joking with the guy I've been talking to for 8 months about his plans for my birthday, he told me he didn't want to 'lead me on' and wants to stay friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 676 You deserved it 145 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seriously_CAT Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "there's no such thing as bacteria in food". FML I agree, your life sucks 25492 You deserved it 1591 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jeff G. - United States Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 39479 You deserved it 5855 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Well, shit - United States - San Francisco Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 19110 You deserved it 1293 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mothers - United States Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML I agree, your life sucks 47868 You deserved it 4249 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML I agree, your life sucks 9420 You deserved it 741 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Indiana - Canada Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML I agree, your life sucks 28958 You deserved it 8939 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scabs - United States Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 31695 You deserved it 2616 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 30573 You deserved it 2394 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idontevencareanymore - United States - Jarrell Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML I agree, your life sucks 46051 You deserved it 4662 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreveryoung - France Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 13832 You deserved it 3258 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Singapore Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML I agree, your life sucks 11309 You deserved it 36895 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - New Zealand Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 156815 You deserved it 17960 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MoreActionThanMe - United States Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML I agree, your life sucks 27855 You deserved it 2797 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML I agree, your life sucks 60113 You deserved it 3565 249 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pauline - United States Today, I visited my son at his university accommodations and noticed he's clearly never cleaned it since he moved in two years ago. I tried cleaning it myself, but gave up entirely when I found what looked like mushrooms growing out of an old takeout container. FML I agree, your life sucks 20701 You deserved it 2445 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no salt, no burning, just STFU - United States Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML I agree, your life sucks 35544 You deserved it 3530 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CollegeChef - Australia Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 36234 You deserved it 2770 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By christinabear - United States Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML I agree, your life sucks 18835 You deserved it 88610 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By that’s what you get - 5/8/2020 17:02 Food for thought Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML I agree, your life sucks 1596 You deserved it 155 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6433284 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:00 I was going to make a joke, but I didn't want to have an insensitive punchline. Poor kid. Send a private message 211 8 Reply
By hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433293 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 I wish this had more info. Was he just messing around or in the wrong place at the right time? Send a private message 43 11 Reply
By StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6433284 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:00 I was going to make a joke, but I didn't want to have an insensitive punchline. Poor kid. Send a private message 211 8 Reply
Reply KingBobtheThird | 16 #6433300 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:07 I see what you did there... you clever little bastard ;) Send a private message 12 25 Reply
By hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433293 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 I wish this had more info. Was he just messing around or in the wrong place at the right time? Send a private message 43 11 Reply
Reply hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433310 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:15 Okay as I reread the FML I realize my comment doesn't really make sense. Wish there was a delete button!! Send a private message 27 2 Reply
Reply Mortoli | 30 #6440015 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:44 real question to ask if op was a teacher or a student herself lol Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By Paras_800 | 27 #6433294 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 How does one "accidentally" punch someone in the throat? Send a private message 8 24 Reply
Reply SecundusSecunda | 27 #6433380 - Monday 12 October 2015 8:39 I would assume being on a haunted trail triggered her defensive instincts, since she was probably scared and jumpy, thereby annihilating the poor kid's throat in mere seconds. Send a private message 32 3 Reply
Reply gogo44444 | 28 #6433537 - Monday 12 October 2015 13:46 To finish what #21 was saying, maybe it's just a reflex when they see someone in a dark place, it's better to be safe then sorry Send a private message 13 2 Reply
Reply ChadHelton | 8 #6433974 - Tuesday 13 October 2015 0:13 easy "fight or flight" just reacted with the other one. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
By colinabi | 13 #6433296 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:06 And that's why you don't go on haunted trails. Send a private message 16 4 Reply
By CelesteGomes | 25 #6433297 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:06 Fml for the kid Send a private message 6 13 Reply
By Redoxx_fml | 22 #6433303 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:08 "Power of Christ compels you"didn't work ? Send a private message 25 4 Reply
By tranced_ | 44 #6433306 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:10 did you got it on tape? Send a private message 11 6 Reply
Reply americanafrican | 32 #6433365 - Monday 12 October 2015 8:23 with op`s fist Send a private message 25 0 Reply
By missyfiona89 | 28 #6433319 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:17 Don't bite off more than what you can chew. If you have the tendency to be violent when scared, haunted trails are not for you. Send a private message 15 10 Reply
By chrisbeaudoin | 26 #6433321 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:17 Today, I was walking on a haunted trail and somebody just punched me for no reason and walked away. FML 18 11 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 166 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 866 You deserved it 132 10 Comments