By MeaganElizabethM - United States - Steubenville Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 21599 You deserved it 4556 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML I agree, your life sucks 30766 You deserved it 3302 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By epicfail - United States Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 44200 You deserved it 5672 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oops - United Kingdom Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML I agree, your life sucks 42801 You deserved it 7797 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML I agree, your life sucks 31108 You deserved it 2738 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firefromherlips - United States - Gallatin Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML I agree, your life sucks 36889 You deserved it 7997 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Southfield Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML I agree, your life sucks 50037 You deserved it 4470 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Smyrna Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 18873 You deserved it 6993 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tacky_unrefined - United States Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 51396 You deserved it 4061 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Champion sucker Uh... Okay? Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML I agree, your life sucks 4577 You deserved it 1612 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cassidy - United States Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML I agree, your life sucks 13291 You deserved it 35616 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML I agree, your life sucks 57721 You deserved it 7761 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Off to Canada - Hong Kong - Kowloon Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 20446 You deserved it 2214 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By savanah_aaron Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 4835 You deserved it 704 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By holdengurl18 - China Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 42667 You deserved it 13013 396 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Dirty talk Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 26687 You deserved it 10133 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JohnBlack - United States Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML I agree, your life sucks 32345 You deserved it 3938 237 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mo - United States Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML I agree, your life sucks 38734 You deserved it 7125 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shatfjord - United States - Rochester Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 42534 You deserved it 2966 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fall3nrain - United States Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 41713 You deserved it 7150 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By in_side_out - Australia Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML I agree, your life sucks 50380 You deserved it 2862 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML I agree, your life sucks 32909 You deserved it 2870 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uglynerd - United States - Streamwood Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML I agree, your life sucks 52687 You deserved it 4586 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sheffield Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 29030 You deserved it 1970 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By generic_name123 - United States - Washington Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML I agree, your life sucks 39473 You deserved it 3326 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ryuuchild666 Today, I bought a 3 lb bag of pears. The first two bites were delicious! The third bite revealed a worm and its thousands of eggs. FML I agree, your life sucks 3427 You deserved it 201 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alittlebitiffy - Australia - Caloundra Today, for the 16th day in a row, my husband slept in the guest room because he doesn't want to disturb the dogs once they've fallen asleep on our bed, so they don't hate him. FML I agree, your life sucks 9036 You deserved it 1256 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Murrieta Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 31481 You deserved it 13791 353 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StantheMan93 - United States - Perrysburg Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML I agree, your life sucks 50941 You deserved it 3569 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By danii - Reserved Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML I agree, your life sucks 9085 You deserved it 64780 234 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shelby124 - United States - York Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML I agree, your life sucks 19898 You deserved it 39565 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gingerbetty - United Kingdom - Swansea Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML I agree, your life sucks 35944 You deserved it 4683 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lesbian Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML I agree, your life sucks 10926 You deserved it 690 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WiltedFlower - United States Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML I agree, your life sucks 57124 You deserved it 6352 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 24687 You deserved it 52913 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By curly_eyelashes - Canada - Windsor Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML I agree, your life sucks 27735 You deserved it 14392 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Trey Wipperfurth-Eisner Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1764 You deserved it 214 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Balwyn North Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 22208 You deserved it 5102 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatty magoo - United States - Kirkland Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML I agree, your life sucks 44210 You deserved it 15916 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "liisiuu" Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 3947 You deserved it 859 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML I agree, your life sucks 18595 You deserved it 7286 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6433284 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:00 I was going to make a joke, but I didn't want to have an insensitive punchline. Poor kid. Send a private message 211 8 Reply
By hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433293 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 I wish this had more info. Was he just messing around or in the wrong place at the right time? Send a private message 43 11 Reply
By StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6433284 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:00 I was going to make a joke, but I didn't want to have an insensitive punchline. Poor kid. Send a private message 211 8 Reply
Reply KingBobtheThird | 16 #6433300 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:07 I see what you did there... you clever little bastard ;) Send a private message 12 25 Reply
By hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433293 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 I wish this had more info. Was he just messing around or in the wrong place at the right time? Send a private message 43 11 Reply
Reply hiitisbrooke | 26 #6433310 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:15 Okay as I reread the FML I realize my comment doesn't really make sense. Wish there was a delete button!! Send a private message 27 2 Reply
Reply Mortoli | 30 #6440015 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:44 real question to ask if op was a teacher or a student herself lol Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By Paras_800 | 27 #6433294 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:05 How does one "accidentally" punch someone in the throat? Send a private message 8 24 Reply
Reply SecundusSecunda | 27 #6433380 - Monday 12 October 2015 8:39 I would assume being on a haunted trail triggered her defensive instincts, since she was probably scared and jumpy, thereby annihilating the poor kid's throat in mere seconds. Send a private message 32 3 Reply
Reply gogo44444 | 28 #6433537 - Monday 12 October 2015 13:46 To finish what #21 was saying, maybe it's just a reflex when they see someone in a dark place, it's better to be safe then sorry Send a private message 13 2 Reply
Reply ChadHelton | 8 #6433974 - Tuesday 13 October 2015 0:13 easy "fight or flight" just reacted with the other one. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
By colinabi | 13 #6433296 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:06 And that's why you don't go on haunted trails. Send a private message 16 4 Reply
By CelesteGomes | 25 #6433297 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:06 Fml for the kid Send a private message 6 13 Reply
By Redoxx_fml | 22 #6433303 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:08 "Power of Christ compels you"didn't work ? Send a private message 25 4 Reply
By tranced_ | 44 #6433306 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:10 did you got it on tape? Send a private message 11 6 Reply
Reply americanafrican | 32 #6433365 - Monday 12 October 2015 8:23 with op`s fist Send a private message 25 0 Reply
By missyfiona89 | 28 #6433319 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:17 Don't bite off more than what you can chew. If you have the tendency to be violent when scared, haunted trails are not for you. Send a private message 15 10 Reply
By chrisbeaudoin | 26 #6433321 - Monday 12 October 2015 7:17 Today, I was walking on a haunted trail and somebody just punched me for no reason and walked away. FML 18 11 Reply
Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that... I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 11 1 Comments
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the... I agree, your life sucks 437 You deserved it 99 2 Comments