Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
I stopped at "...even though I'm not legally allowed to drive." You're lucky that you didn't get pulled over, dumbass.
FFML_314 12
We all get a bit horny sometimes.
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Comments (160)
Ilike2makepoopy 0
I hav a large pipi
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
twistedsoul, with your grammar, you're in no position to question anyone's intellect.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
I always read ET's comments when I notice them. Anything coming from a dork like that is bound to be hilarious. Once again, he didn't let me down. gj ET
chorizo123 0
you guys need to lay off op because first of all he/she(i cant tell im on mobile) probly isnt reading your guyses lectures and come on like you guess never did anything your not soppose to and yeah so what if op is not legally alowed to drive it doesnt mean op doesnt know how and well anyways op hurt no one but still FML because you got caught. :D
Vayt 2
Talk to us again when you're done with middle school.
Illyriel 0
#124 - Excuse me? I believe you just said "so what if op is not legally allowed to drive", and I'm awed by your stupidity. I also believe you need to watch the news and learn about what happens to people who drive illegally - this may assist you in staying out of jail if you truly think that things like driving illegally are ok. Sometimes, I just really want to hit you.
Zebidee 9
#124 - you're a ******* idiot. Get back to me when you've had an entire family of your friends killed in a single accident by someone that wasn't supposed to be on the road.
slatter 1
I love ets .... before the awful mum joke, it's like he's typing his pause for thought lol
CakeSlicer 0
Not legally allowed to drive..that's dangerous.
TurboTalon 0
Every time I stole the car I always had a plan. For example, a birthday card, a friend texting me they were gonna kill themselves, getting the stuff of the grocery list, hospital wristband.
psychochick29 0
Yea. Cause you made *complete* sense there. Sounds like you are almost as smart as OP.
demo320 0
fail
xgetxbentx 13
ydi for driving illegally. just be glad it was your mom that saw you and not the cops. had it been the cops you would have gotten a ticket with a large fine, possible probation, and no license until you turn 18
shoopd 19
Humanity survives because some people can actually get girls AND successfully reproduce. My guess would be that you lack skills in both of those areas.