Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
No need to be so anal about it.
3040evan 2
Wow do people really do this in front of everyone.
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Comments (142)
perdix 31
So, what you are saying is that behavior would be appropriate at an adults-only facility?
titzenpitzer 9
and they were NOT trolling you?
arty777 8
Well, no one has to explain it the guys in my class who do the act EVERY GODDAMN DAY. Now how old were these boys? The ones I know are 15-16.
SwordOfTheSky 4
You mean they're ******* each other, or shoving items up each other's asses? Lol
Khariau 8
What an ass...
talloctopus 7
There gay, they love shit shoved up their asses.. Haha.
fluffycatsdad 33
Or even inappropriate, full stop.
Kajol123 5
Is it just me, but when OP wrote "life-guarding" I thought of like a superhero guarding their lives.
Blackmail111 9
Nope, just you.
Brutal_Bunny 9
You're a strange one. That said, it would be great fun for lifeguards to wear superhero costumes. Nothing fancy; just a cape and a swimsuit featuring a picture of a person drowning with a line through it. Or, I guess, in the OP's case, a picture of buttsex with a line through it. The job description of a lifeguard is sort of broad nowadays, eh?
Haven8238 3
What the actual ****
baseballgirl25 6
I know how you feel, i work at a water park. Just tell them behave or I'm kicking you out.
csi_fml 19
Oh I can see them as a future couple