Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Hard pass
Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML
Surprise!
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Way too smooth
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML
You freak!
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
Top comments
smarsh7979 13
That's kinda concerning that she reacted so severely to being tapped on the shoulder. Maybe she was physically abused in a past relationship? Honestly this is more of a f her life than f your life
manofmerr 27
Either she has a nervous disorder, or you are a really scary dude. Im assuming the former, in which case you couldn't have known, so not your fault. If it's the latter...well, ydi, and you should probably stear clear of small children.
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Comments (35)
RichardPencil 30
You found a squirter!
little boy 1
thats cute
Vesi 29
OK.. a few things. First, if she was sitting alone, maybe she wanted to, you know, be alone. Second, do not, under any normal circumstance, touch anyone, ever, without their consent. (Noting, of course, emergency situations.) Third, Use your voice, not your hands. A very soft "Hi there, would you mind some company?" would have been much better and put the ball in her court and very likely given you a much better response. You never know what someone may have encountered in their life. This is coming from a survivor of some pretty horrific abuse, not someone just saying this was not the brightest move on your part. Good luck, next time.
squiros 2
flense flens/ verb verb: flench slice the skin or fat from (a carcass, especially that of a whale). strip (skin or fat) from a carcass. "the skin had been flensed off" so was she cutting on a fish in the fountain or just a random nearby animal? can you imagine how scared she must be of you to start cutting a dead animal while pissing herself?
DanielleinDC 33
That's more like F-HER life.
HanBanana15 9
First of all, your username is absolutely cringe-worthy. Second, what kind of a person decides to announce their presence by touching instead of using words? Third, all of this, and the fact that you were trying to "make a move" on the poor girl without talking to her first and making sure it's okay, is just really disgusting and I personally think her reaction was less than you deserved. You should've gotten a slap to the face, just to teach you a little lesson in consent. Poor girl. I hope the situation wasn't too traumatic for her.
interesting33 36
a slap in the face? that is extreme.Op tapped her on the shoulder. Personally I don't see anything wrong in wanting to make a move on someone as long as you back off if they aren't interested. on TV, some places seem to have a culture where it is very acceptable to chat and seeing how it goes. My guess is that by 'make a move' OP meant he wanted to approach her and start chatting, maybe.tryi g to be cute by tapping her, which was misjudged. i am also guessing OP was joking with the username as i cant imagine anyone putting that seriously. but all this is my interpretation. i don't know how it happened or the girl's view. Bit i think slapping someone is out of order.
joeyl2008 29
People like you are the worst
species4872 19
Hell of a thing to do to the poor lass, Go buy a single rose, a letter of apology and a new Ferrari for her and she just might forgive you.
TaoShaman 24
Do people really never tap anyone on the shoulder to get their attention? It's pretty likely that saying something would have had the same reaction. This girl obviously has something he had no way of knowing about. His wording is pretty bad, but what happened was obviously not intentional. You should ask before touching people, but tapping someone on the shoulder is so common you cannot expect nobody to ever do it. And if someone is just sitting doing something they possibly won't hear someone say something as they're not paying attention, so people tap them on the shoulder. And she was in public. Sitting in public someone will probably come up to you for countless reasons. People are being unnecessarily harsh for something that was an accident. It's nobody's fault and could never have been foreseen without prior knowledge.
interesting33 36
thank you so much.i could not have put it better myself
Druu 53
That warm feeling you get when urine love, amirite?
oniontom 2
You are so rude!