Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
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Top comments
smarsh7979 13
That's kinda concerning that she reacted so severely to being tapped on the shoulder. Maybe she was physically abused in a past relationship? Honestly this is more of a f her life than f your life
manofmerr 27
Either she has a nervous disorder, or you are a really scary dude. Im assuming the former, in which case you couldn't have known, so not your fault. If it's the latter...well, ydi, and you should probably stear clear of small children.
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Comments (35)
caggybandicoot 34
Nice guy finishing last? If you have to insist like that, then you're probably not as nice as you think you are. Also, if someone is sat on their own, they probably want to be left alone. Why would you tap her on the shoulder, anyway? Couldn't you have come into her view and SAID something? You're a dick, dude.
Britt125 16
That's an awfully extreme reaction to being tapped on the shoulder. I'm more concerned with whatever the poor girl might be going through to spark that kind of reaction, she could have an anxiety disorder or something, or something bad could have happened to her before. Yet, your concern is "nice" guys finishing last. I also agree with those who said you should have used your words, not just touched her without her knowledge.
KryssLB 14
Could have been abuse; could just have poor musculature. Especially after giving birth, a lot of women can start peeing themselves a bit if they sneeze or cough. Possibly she just jumped enough that that's what happened. Mind you, she could have simply been absorbed in her book and not noticed you coming up, and you just scared the piss out of her, literally. Don't know why you're submitting this as a f *your* life though; poor girl must have been humiliated. :(
Bearsmomma 30
I think you should say hi to her at least once more. She may have been genuinely interested in you and is mortified by what happened. She would never have the nerve to approach you, so you should approach her and act as if the incident never happened. See how she reacts. This time make sure to position yourself where she'll see you and then speak to her rather than tapping.
Zut? 4
It's a tap on the shoulder, you weirdos, not sexual assault. To be honest, I don't much like being touched, either, but the sort of finger-wagging reactions to any physical contact in some of these comments are the product of a seriously neurotic society. It just screws people up, leaving their problems to come out in all sorts of other unhealthy ways.