By revan546 - 26/04/2013 13:23 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 506
You deserved it 9 546

revan546 tells us more.

revan546 24

Hi guys, OP here. Yeah I've been a vegetarian for a few years and my friend finally decided to call me out on it. I think i died a little inside when i heard it haha. He eventually did admit that he was wrong and we're still friends and whatnot. Common sense isn't so common nowadays though is it.

Top comments

This friends, is why us vegetarians have a bad reputation for acting like we're better than people.


It was very fowl of you to call this man a "bird brain".. Some flocking nerve you have there, number 1.

Crows are one of the most intelligent animals, so you shouldn't use bird brain as an insult. You might offend the crows. You don't want them angry at you, do you?

Have you heard the word? Bbbbbbbbird bird bird the bird is the word, Bbbbbbbbird bird bird the bird is the word.....

Please stop with the bird is the word...The trend is long over.

tjv3 10

I'm a member of People Eating Tasty Animals

Don't piss off the birds. Even loyal citizens who anger the avian race will have much to fear from the songbird.

olpally 32

Your friend is a few brain cells short. Yokes!

Maybe from all the processed foods he eats!

rg350dx 29

Quit it right now, before these yolks leave a fowl taste in my mouth.

"Here they come to snuff the rooster, aww yeah, hey yeah"

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

This friends, is why us vegetarians have a bad reputation for acting like we're better than people.

x24x - You are nothing more than a pompous, self-righteous ass. I wish you'd say something like that to me. I guarantee it wouldn't shut me up. Now I'm going to take my intelligence and enjoy a bacon cheeseburger.

dr_snow_bear 29

I've been friends with DocBastard since we first meet in Med school.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

25 - Let's be honest here. You sounded dead serious in the first comment and now you sound like your trying to pull a variation of the "I was being SARCASTIC! Duh!" excuse.

#4 shuts them up, because they can't handle your stupidity.

MarisaCB 16

If you're joking, fine, but sarcasm doesn't translate well on the internet. I'm vegetarian. It makes me no better of a person, like being religious won't make you a better person. You don't have to act like you're better because you believe in a certain thing.

AliceLockehart 18

@4 It's self righteous assholes like you that make people think all vegetarians are self righteous assholes. Get off your ******* high horse, you're no better than anyone else. The animals you claim not to eat are humbler than you...

I guess the smiley at the end of the message I originally sent didn't make sense to any of you. I'm not an elitist. My wife is no vegetarian and I've never even tried to convince anyone to become vegetarian. But hey, go ahead. See if I care what a bunch of people, who have no idea of who I am, think of me. Zero ***** were and will be given.

If vegetarianism was so smart, what happens to the cattle once everyone stops eating them? They'd need to be culled. And we get protein from animals. Got nothing against vegetarianism, but don't insult others intelligence because they have different views to you without properly researching your own opinions.

Hey x24x if eating meat is NOT natural then how come you see tigers and lions and every other predator animal out there eating cute little animals? I'm sorry you may not like it but its the food chain. And I guess you think cavemen were wrong when they killed buffalo to feed their village too

#4 That was a very ignorant thing for you to say.

QuinnyZebrass 11

There is nothing wrong with eating meat and there is nothing wrong with choosing not to. Unless they're eating rocks and gluesticks, a person's diet has no correlation with their intelligence.

AliceLockehart 18

Putting an emoticon on the end of something doesn't make you any less of an asshole. I bet Hitler smiled heaps, & he was still a ****.

I find four's statement ironic seeing as a lot of evolutionary theorists argue that humans only became so intelligent BECAUSE of our meat-eating (something to do with coordinated hunting coupled with the treasure troves of protein found in meat).

4, It probably shuts them up because they know it's not worth arguing with a fool.

87- Did you know that those carnivores do not in fact eat the meat that we do? They prey on the stomachs of the animals - because that is the first source of vegetation and all life forms revolve around it. Research this. I'm not bashing you, I'm just giving you something to think about.

Animals go for the gut because it's easy to tear into and houses vital organs that are chocked full of nutrients and protein. If tigers wanted a salad they'd go grazing with the antelopes.

71- You're an asshole :-). Nope, the smiley doesn't change the context. I've always wondered about vegetarians who use the excuse of animal rights as their thesis statement. Do they not realize that abstaining from the meat doesn't solve the problem? There are hundreds of products made from the processing of the animals, unless they abstain from every one of these products often used daily, the problem is only made worse. If no one buys the meat, then it just goes to waste, eventually meat companies start losing profits, which translates into cuts in production, but not in the quantity department, in quality. If no one's ingesting the meat, then they don't need to keep the animals healthy until they reach market weight, just until they can be rendered, and I don't think they need to be too healthy for that either. Vegetarianism is more about being trendy than healthy or proactive, it has no positive impact in either way.

126- that's not true. For one thing, they don't actually keep the animals healthy as it is, so that whole statement is entirely irrelevant. Yes, there are still products that use animals, but that doesn't actually mean that abstaining from meat makes no difference. And besides, what about vegans? As far as it having a positive impact, I know everyone is different, but it is actually quite a healthy and beneficial diet for some people. And whether it immediately makes a difference in the slaughterhouses isn't actually the main point, the point is that you're making a stand and telling everyone "I do not support the animal cruelty that is committed everyday in slaughterhouses" and if enough people speak up, it WILL make a difference. So don't go saying that the only purpose of vegetarianism is to be trendy. It may be for some, but for those of us who are serious about making a difference, your casual dismissal of our cause is highly insulting and unnecessarily rude.

You missed the point, if you take anything out of context or don't look at all the facts of course you won't get it. If I take some things you just said out of context too, then you sai all sorts of stupid, rude or insulting things. 1. I never said they keep animals healthy now, I thought my tone in that comment pointed out that animals are in a bad state already, vegetarianism just makes it worse. 2. Yes it does, if no humans buy the meat, they render it into dog or cat food like the other parts that already go there, then lower profits = cheaper production. Cheaper production = animals in worse conditions. 3. Of course vegans are a separate group, I never made the point of lumping them together, but it is nearly the same thing. Humans evolved alongside animals. Abstaining from animals completely is unhealthy, even unnatural. A better idea is to improve our symbiotic relationship, so the animals are getting a better deal. 4. Is there a doctor in the house? Can they please explain again why the proteins from meat and eggs, and fats from dairy are an integral part of a human diet? 5. If "making a change at the slaughterhouse isn't the main point, it's taking a stand and telling people". Then yes, you're trying to be trendy. 6. Just talking and NOT doing something (in this case eating meat), no matter how many people are, has never solved a single problem, I'm quite sure. There needs to be a palpable action. 7. The "cause" should be simplified to just animal rights, not all this convoluted stuff about veganism, vegetarianism and what-not. If it were cut down to that the problem could be concentrated on in a meaningful manner. 8. MY cause is to fight for intelligence. If that means i seem rude or insulting to the people who support an idea worthy of ridicule, then I have no qualms in doing so. 9. I fully support animal rights, I just think there are probably far better ways to make a change, getting the word out is a big part of it, but don't turn your diet into a religion.

I love hunting, but I still support PETA. Is there something wrong with supporting People Eating Tasty Animals? No, but everyone is entitled to their own opinions...except for the real PETA, because they are dipsh!ts and think that hunters are evil and kill animals for fun.

Zyzz7 12

Firstly, OP, you deserve it for being vegetarian, meat is part of the human diet and red meat helped our brains develop into what they are now. Secondly, #4, You are incredibly pretentious and pompous for saying that, and you are also a moron for thinking that being a vegetarian is an 'intelligent' decision.

Hello, I am a lion. I would like to give a simple, clear, lion's point of view in this conversation. I am very well educated in the area of vegetarians, I hunt them everyday, primarily gazelles. What I've learned over the years is that vegetarians try to stay in groups for safety, but still can never outrun the far superior carnivore, the lion, or sometimes his less superior cousin, the tiger. The point is, eat what you like and don't try to force others to see your point of view, we're all gonna get eaten someday. So enjoy your salads and bacon double cheeseburgers. Now excuse me, the pride and I are going to take down a few giraffes.

You can't trust a person that doesn't eat meat

How about we don't base our trust in people on their diet?

rg350dx 29

Actually, you can always trust a carnivore to eat meat. Those pesky vegetarians never know when they're gunna turn on you, shove a rod up your ass and roast you on a spit.

I don't trust people that eat defenseless animals!!

35: No animal is truly defenceless. If they were, they'd be extinct. Even running away is considered a defence mechanism.

rg350dx 29

Defenseless??? He's got huge sharp..he can leap about...look at the bones!

MarisaCB 16

They're defenseless against people. When someone chases a deer, brings it down, and kills it with its bare hands, then fine. He can eat it. If he shoots it with a rifle from hundreds of feet away, that's a defenseless animal. You can say that's survival of the fittest, but just because our brains are bigger doesn't give us the right to exploit and destroy other species.

Well if we didn't shoot deer we would be overpopulated with them, side note you're vegetarian so I don't trust you

How's that different than any other predator, 62? They all have specialized skills for hunting and killing their food and so do we. We don't have the musclepower like the other animals so we're relying upon what we have, just as any other predatory animal.

62- Yes, because when lions go out hunting, chase the antelope to exhaustion, dig their claws into it's flesh, and bite down on it's throat until it suffocates that's so much better!.Meanwhile we kill deer swiftly, often without even giving them a chance to suffer! We're just awful creatures -_-

MarisaCB 16

That's nature. Humans are the worst species to ever exist on this planet.

#144 don't put an entire species into a box. By your logic, you are also one of the worst beings to exist on this planet. Also, humans are a part of nature.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I see people preaching like meat were a freakin' religion every time this subject comes up. The really funny thing is these same people then call vegetarians "preachy" when they're producing ten times the total volume of pointless dogmatic noise.

You're entirely right. Human arrogance makes us think that we're better than all other creatures, and that we have the right to destroy the Earth which gives us life. Humans are biologically herbivores, with our entire anatomy being different to a carnivore, and the meat people eat is killing them. Modern humans are disgusting and vicious.

161- you're a complete moron, just shut up. Why do you think that our canines are pointy? Why do you think that we have digestive organs and enzymes for meat? Why do you think meat tastes good? Why do you think we are so intelligent and require protein? Why do we eat meat naturally? You obviously have no clue.

Before I start I am vegetarian, practically vegan but I don't avoid cake, chocolate or things made with dairy, my willpower isn't that strong. While I agree Humans suck in many ways, hunting and killing animals is no different than 'animals' doing the same. Humans are weak, we need things like weapons to stand a chance. As a race who understands the weight of our actions (sometimes) we do have more of a responsibility To save the planet though.

No, 161, we are omnivores. Herbivores have an INABILITY to eat meat. We can digest meat and it is in no way harmful by itself. Our ancestors, before agriculture came along, were foragers and lived off the land. This included meat. It seems like you're just throwing logic out the window to try and justify condemning all of humanity. I do personally believe that we should respect what is around us and respect the earth when we use its resources. I also don't agree with how mankind has abused the earth for so long, but what you're saying is completely ridiculous.

Wizardo 33

My guy fell out of the nest it seems...

thats when you take the opportunity to really mess with him and tell him that they can't be birds since they don't fly. Considering how smart he is, i'm sure he'll believe you..

Talk about smart I'm confused if OP is only a vegetarian because he disagrees with eating animals that have been bred and lived in awful conditions just to become food, what's wrong with free range organic? Or is OP just one of those annoying people who feel the need to over explain? When I ask why you are veggie, I'm generally after a 'I don't like meat' or 'I disagree with killing animals for food'. Not a lecture. Anyway

Free range organic is expensive, and isn't always exactly what they advertise. If you are only looking for two answers, why even bother to ask? There are a lot of different reasons people go vegetarian, not just the two you listed.

Also, I hardly see how answering the question honestly with one simple sentence is a lecture...

Success4444 12

I say **** His Life if he doesn't know birds are animals.

dr_snow_bear 29

You know how to tell if someone is vegetarian? Don't worry, they'll tell you.

I know this is a joke, but I thought I might take the opportunity to say that this isn't true for all vegetarians. I never feel it necessary to talk about my diet unless it's directly relevant to the conversation (like right now) or someone notices and asks me about it. And even then I don't feel the need to "preach" and try convince anyone that they shouldn't eat meat, I only explain my reasons if they ask just like the OP did.

I would definitely have to say, that is more so true for Vegans than vegetarians.... Somehow, in any conversation, it'll come up..

Most vegetarians are nice about it like you, and I appreciate that. Vegans on the other hand...

I know a lot of vegetarians, and for the most part, they're pretty cool about other peoples choices etc. But sometimes you get assholes vegos that go around judging everyone and thinking they're better than everyone else. My old flatmates gf used to come over, and bitch and moan that we eat meat, and she can't stand the smell of steak, and that she had to use 'yucky pans with meat juice on them' if she wanted to cook for her boyfriend. Firstly, she had only been a vegetarian for 2 months by this stage. Secondly, don't come to my house and complain about what I'm cooking when I'm not cooking for you anyway. That sort of thing does not endear vegetarians to people.

How do you know if someone isn't funny? Don't worry, they'll recycle ancient, exhausted one-liners like this.