Many thanks to those who understand hoarding behavior and who defended me. In case you were wondering: 1. I have tried to help my mother for over 20 years and she refuses help, professional or otherwise. 2. I exaggerated how long it has been. I have seen my mother many times, usually she visits me. She has not allowed into my childhood home since I left for college 12 years ago. It has just gotten worse now. She really is living in the backyard, this is not an exaggeration. 3. I am currently working on what to do for her; I am trying to get her some help in this crisis, even if that includes forceful removal. 4. Humor helps me deal with tragic circumstances. This is why I chose to share this ridiculously sad story. 5. Hoarding is never the child's fault. I have been living this down and getting over guilt my whole life. 6. I can only imagine being on TV would be akin to suicide for her, as hoarding is a secretive problem. 6. Kids, if you live in a cluttered landfill of a house, your parents' hoarding is its own mental disorder. It is an addiction. Childrenofhoarders.com is a great first resource. There is help. 7. Yes, I think my mom is probably doing spells in the backyard. I gotta get this shit figured out before winter. She is in Iowa.