Intimacy: Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 03:02 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 457

You deserved it 13 936

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 4 429

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 328

You deserved it 4 717

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 462

You deserved it 36 460

By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 1 755

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 664

You deserved it 15 189

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 479

You deserved it 5 038

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 18 359

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 747

abu4u 26

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:06

It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.

rhysfucker 24

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:02

You need curtains or blinds.

Comments

ShadowGenius 12

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:19

This is why I don't have sex in a car anymore.

cr500guy 11

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:35

Is Ted Williams making a comeback?

ckerane 16

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:44

That's hilarious

Delsanity 13

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:06

Erm curtains? Who have sex with no curtains and in front of the window?

Ducklord21 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:15

I would keep going just to hear the storyline

brendejafulable 41

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:44

Freaks cum out at night?

mcamilli 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 20:30

Hahaha could've been worse if it were cops!

jay2800 3

Sunday 15 March 2015 20:36

im sorry OP, but that is awesome lmao

MaryPoppins88 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 20:37

What kind of voice over?

Kramer1998 20

Sunday 15 March 2015 20:37

In that situation I would have done the exact same thing

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming AITA Cops Transportation Cars Kids Sexism Relatable Work Health Mental health Growing old Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Stalker Instagram Social Media Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 608

You deserved it 5 178

Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 313

The Top

Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 4 769

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 198

You deserved it 2 732

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 361

You deserved it 13 118

Today, my date got a cold before our date and accidentally took medicine that makes you drowsy before we went out. Two glasses of red later to calm her nerves, she yelled at a waiter, threw her shoe at the chef, then passed out on the table. I’m going to marry this girl, just you watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 300

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 866

You deserved it 6 734

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 3 462

Same thing different taste

Repetition

Not now

In the mood

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