Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
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Top comments
silverx10 0
And this is why it pays to pretend with headphones on.
michelle4srs 0
Right when they started you should have pretended to wake up and made a loud noise to let them know.
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Comments (95)
Wombats111 0
At least it isn't you mom describing what she wanted to do with you.
looloothing 9
you should have "woken up" so they would stop.
Warzprite 0
YDI, or you would have "woke up" to make them stop. Obviously you wanted to hear it
cactus_fml 0
Um, I'm pretty sure it would be more awkwark if the OP's parents knew what he heard.
Hockeylover87_71 0
I agree with #49 and#50, you clearly enjoyed it.
BigBlueMonster 0
This reminds me of the one where the guy pretended to listen to music and his parents started talking about how ugly he was...
FuzzyWalnuts 0
That's when you let them know you're still awake. YDI
epicfail13337 4
Sucks you had to listen to your parents talk dirty about each other. You might even get another sibling!
Chocoholic17 0
FYL, but you should've done some arm stretching and loud yawning and said, "Are we there yet?" or something.
storyteller07 0
Opossum fail!
sobe23 0
AHHHH!!! gross!! lol