Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML
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Top comments
kyliebear 15
i could never see myself staying with someone like him..
almariee 2
that is so disgusting.... eww I would've made him clean the shit up
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Comments (101)
1958x 6
That's really nasty.
dino2muffin2 0
well... Tell him to eat it :3
indistructo 3
I do not know what to say
RecklessJellyBea 7
Maybe he's saving it in advance for a snack after the big game.
jonmansheppard 9
nom nom nom!
Veindetta 5
I read this while eating breakfast. Not a good idea.
DjeePee 25
Never read FML whilst eating. You are warned!
WordSmyth 2
You should introduce him to the guy that farts on wind chimes, he might be able to blast away the mountain using natural gas.
sourgirl101 29
Check out his car. He probably has a special little pile on the side of his car seat too. Nose picking while driving....? People watching will let you see people do it, especially at stop lights. (:
djmixon 0
My husband does this. Grosssssssss!
KaitHud 0
That is sooooo disgusting. You married a pig!
cherry72 13
Ya I agree... bet he does other far worse disgusting things if he thinks that's ok. Eww and I just grossed myself out :(
man_in_black08 28
hmm.. yet, ppl eat pigs.. how ironic..
thatpreppyguy 0
I hope he earns a lot of money ... Otherwise leave .