Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML
Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, while my husband and I were cleaning out a closet, he went outside to throw out some trash. He was taking a long time to return and I went to make sure he was OK. He was in the living room watching TV instead of helping me. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML
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Top comments
kyliebear 15
i could never see myself staying with someone like him..
almariee 2
that is so disgusting.... eww I would've made him clean the shit up
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Comments (101)
Gemmy_44 7
Is this guy so goddamn lazy he can't get up and go find a tissue or a napkin to wipe his "treasures" on? Storing up or wiping his boogers anywhere but a tissue is just lazy and disgusting. I'd be worried about what other personal habits he has that might be equally nasty. Although I don't know if I'd rather he ate them than wipe them somewhere where I might find them inadvertently--at least then they're not lying in wait for me to clean the floor under the couch and "bump" into them. GAG. I don't even want to know what he does with ear wax or dingleberries.
vbmg152 19
Okay, that's gross! There's no other way to describe it, just plain gross!!!
noobcake111 2
dinner served!
Tonje__Langeteig 0
No sex for the husband tonight :( Just him and a nice magazine with his hands
SUPERAWES0ME 5
Why aren't you cleaning the house more often?
PinkFun1969 9
That is sick. huh
bgtwindaddy 0
babe?
lastsinglepanda 16
Maybe they can make a Fringe episode about this, the location is right?
Hans888 7
you sure "picked" a winner
wildnout06 0
He wouldn't be on my couch wiping boogers on it which is so gross you should have made him clean it and no tv for a month