Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 657

You deserved it 47 738

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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 2 251

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 213

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 197

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 303

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 800

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 334

You deserved it 2 063

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 889

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 248

Sorry Pat

By Kronic - 02/07/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 311

You deserved it 48 648

SneakyCaveman 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Dadothy 8

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?

Comments

guler 6

Friday 17 August 2012 0:14

You silly person

dashizam 10

Friday 17 August 2012 0:17

So uh, is your mom a cougar, and/or are you a gig-a-low?

PeteyPablo12308 20

Friday 17 August 2012 11:05

Niether of those would make grabbing your MOTHERS ass ok!

williamcarter93 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:17

Why in the hell would you grab your mother's ass?!

joep1 7

Friday 17 August 2012 0:18

"Hey son what do you want to do today?" " Let's go smack moms ass!" I find your life to be very ******.

ImmaB3AST 7

Friday 17 August 2012 0:19

Almost all of these comments say the same thing. Way to bring out the boring side of FML, OP. asshole

daps29 11

Friday 17 August 2012 0:21

That's normal...

kailsey 5

Friday 17 August 2012 0:21

OP could be a girl. Im close with my mom..we pinch each others butts.

Kiki242 19

Friday 17 August 2012 2:27

I'm a girl myself and I would never touch my mom there. That's in the no no square.

simplylost643 0

Friday 17 August 2012 2:56

#119- What the hell is a no no square?

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Friday 17 August 2012 4:02

A square that screams "NO NO" when ever you touch it. There's usually multiple ones on the human body.

Kiki242 19

Friday 17 August 2012 15:11

Take a wild guess.

xtcolin 7

Friday 17 August 2012 0:23

Guess you learned the hard way that the only acceptable place to smack your moms ass is in the comforts of your own home? Creepy...

laxforevrr 0

Friday 17 August 2012 0:28

i don't think it's normal to grab your mothers ass....

Turtle_rebellion 10

Friday 17 August 2012 5:05

No shit

gabbiechaoss 5

Friday 17 August 2012 0:29

OP: Sorry about grabbing your ass, I thought you were my mom!

Keywords

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