Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 657

You deserved it 47 738

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 2 251

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 213

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 197

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 619

You deserved it 303

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 800

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 334

You deserved it 2 063

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 889

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 248

Sorry Pat

By Kronic - 02/07/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 311

You deserved it 48 648

SneakyCaveman 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Dadothy 8

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?

Comments

ILoveZombieBoys 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:48

Yea if it WAS ur mom she wouldn't have liked it anyway

sougstad 7

Friday 17 August 2012 0:49

Why would u grab your moms ass? That is wrong in so many ways

ElatedEarthling 15

Friday 17 August 2012 0:54

On the plus side, maybe the lady who's ass you grabbed liked it, and wants to get together sometime so you can call her "momma" again ;)

lovelyspyder 7

Monday 20 August 2012 10:34

Yeah, that's why he's banned, cause she liked it..

poupoule24 2

Friday 17 August 2012 0:55

I grabbed my mom's ass at a store once just to scare her. It worked and was quite hilarious.

AznSamoan52 10

Friday 17 August 2012 0:57

You sick asscricket. Even if she was your mom, how would it be funny to grab her ass? Are you trying to tell us something?

PandaSpots 10

Friday 17 August 2012 1:44

Ah, I see what you did there. You learn about the new word that was added to our generations' vernacular from that FML a few days ago. Way to go young one. ;)