Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, you have good genes
limitles 14
You deserved it for letting your friends talk about your mother this way. One swift punch to the teeth and no one would dare verbalize their hormonal urges.
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Comments (92)
James_Briggs 15
As long as Scotty doesn't know.
ElAsmar 3
Milf are the best
lavapants 15
Seems like your mom is a hot MILF.
jvanevery 19
that's a terrible burden having a hot mom
dylan913 13
She sounds like a milf
boju1106 3
Robert..?
kishmobile444 16
Stiffler, is that you? lol well, that will make her feel sexy and pretty ... I have the same issue with my mom. every ex tells me if we ever break up they are either dating my 16 year old sister or my 52 year old mom bc "they are both just as f**king hot as you are" .... that makes me want to continue dating them ... not! I feel your pain! At least you don't have to worry about your woman wanting to date her!
paulraney 2
I think she is too
inolongercare 19
Well your first problem was playing Truth or Dare
cornyrob 33
One day you might become a MILF yourself!