Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, you have good genes
limitles 14
You deserved it for letting your friends talk about your mother this way. One swift punch to the teeth and no one would dare verbalize their hormonal urges.
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Comments (92)
avengerofcrack 11
why are you playing truth or dare with all guys anyways??
xxmollyxx 25
There could've been girls there too, it doesn't say. They were busy talking about OP's dad, no doubt.
Lalala579121 28
Then suddenly both the girls and guys stopped at the same time before creepily turning their heads to stare at OP. Then they jumped on him and... well I'll let you imagine the rest.
avengerofcrack 11
I guess I just assumed the guys wouldn't talk like that in front of girls they wanted to be with lol. that's probably too much too assume tho, logic isn't always number one
Goblin182 27
Or, it could have been some of the girls saying OP's Mom was screwable too.
LuluRichards 20
FYL op, I know sometimes even when you ask your friends to quit they just think it's funny to continue. It sucks.
maemismile 22
I understand. I was always told going up that my mom is hotter than me.
Ilovelife93 9
Reminds me of "Stacy's Mom" ! This is hilarious!! But I'm so sorry, OP, that you have to sit and cringe while all your homies talk about your mom!!! Best wishes to erase that mental image, OP!! :)
NeatNit 33
My condolences.
rldostie 19
Sucks for you but good job for your mom for no doubt staying in good shape and health. Not that fuckability should determine how relevant a 51 year old woman is, but it still doesn't hurt to be thought of as attractive.
Richard6036 13
That's pretty common we used to say the same thing when we were teenagers
Quicky5_ 16
Well at least there a bright future for great aging In your future!
patte_fml 19
Congrats for having a hot mom… or in other words: YDI.
Dominus101 20
You have the same problem Stifler had ! Except this is real life FYL OP