Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, you have good genes
limitles 14
You deserved it for letting your friends talk about your mother this way. One swift punch to the teeth and no one would dare verbalize their hormonal urges.
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Comments (92)
Mightytall 35
Your family name isn't Stifler by any chance, is it?
Brandi_Faith 34
Stacey is that you?
COURT_KING 14
I would have broken some jaws.
PotatoesAndCake 26
Why didn't you tell them to shut up or else you'll knock their teeth out?
Soverain 15
Is your name Stacy by any chance?
lone_ninja 16
Might your name be "Stifler" perhaps?
HappyItalian 38
Makes me think of the show "The Inbetweeners".
TrippingOnAcid 29
I hope you mean the English one and not the shitey American version that MTV shat out
HappyItalian 38
Haha of course I mean the UK version.. I didn't even bother watching the American one because I knew it would be shit
interesting33 37
Why on Earth is this thumbed down?
NYGiants1925 22
Lol same here.
HappyItalian 38
#49 Because either people think I was talking about the American version of the show or they don't know what I'm talking about
tiger820 20
MILF!..... ?
StickyPickles 33
So you have a milf. . Deal with it
Lalala579121 28
That's how pornos happen.
Rintarok5 29
As disturbing as that probably was for you, at least none have them have attempted to make a move on it
vikky538 29
Punch!