Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
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Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
VeganDarkLight 31
To be honest I really don't get why a lot of pet owners let their pets lick their faces. It's pretty disgusting to me even if that dog/cat hasn't thrown up or licked their ass/balls etc. before.
ZelmaSlayer 30
*Cleveland's voice* "That's nasty."
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Comments (45)
The_Basileus 9
And that's why you don't let your dog lick your face. You don't know what i licked or ate just before.
jozhe 21
Ah stop complaining. Dog had a much worst day and just needed some love.
bulletsinthewind 21
Well that is pretty nasty, but there's nothing you could've done about it without knowing
protoskore 27
Today, I was eating a slice of pizza while reading this ...FML
junpeiIori 17
As the grumpy cat meme says, No.
MrThump 16
Awwwww, your dog loves you! Probably licked it's arse, which made it throw up and then come and lick you. Nice work dog.
truckers_wife 23
LOL I know this isn't totally related but it reminded me of something that happened the other night. my one year old daughter is sick and had been puking, when she got her second wind she decided to practice her sticking out tongue skills and ended up licking me. it was so cute and gross at the same time.
Anro_fml 17
Still gotta love 'um.
ancientera 12
well damn, why did you let him lick you in the face in the first place xD
Isandri 29
My cat yday shat herself and then went on my bed to clean herself up.. FML as well :d