Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
VeganDarkLight 31
To be honest I really don't get why a lot of pet owners let their pets lick their faces. It's pretty disgusting to me even if that dog/cat hasn't thrown up or licked their ass/balls etc. before.
ZelmaSlayer 30
*Cleveland's voice* "That's nasty."
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Comments (45)
YOLOMCSWAGINS 2
wow that sucks
KingLewisII 34
if he's not throwing up he's licking his butt and balls, that's why I don't let my dogs luck my face at all.
californian21 13
I feel your pain... My dog and I were playing and he broke my tooth
Hauclir 14
And they say a dogs mouth is cleaner than a persons.
rockwrench 18
If it wasn't puke, it's after licking their ass. Not sure whats worse.
worldclassrager 41
You're awake...clean your face in the shower...problem solved
Goblin182 27
At least he didn't throw up after licking your face. What an insult that would be.
Attacksloth 33
Believe me, OP, vomit is not the nastiest thing that entered your dog's mouth today. You forgot about: his testicles, dog poop, the dirty ground, toilet water, etc.
FalloutScrolls 25
See, it's stories like this that make me glad I'm majorly allergic to dogs dander so I can never experience the unconditional love of post-puke licking.
Reasonable_one 12
Letting dogs lick your face is just disgusting for reasons other comments have already mentioned.