By VampObsessed - 05/01/2013 05:30 - United States - Dallas

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 168
You deserved it 8 728

VampObsessed tells us more.

OP here. My key only works on the front lock so I couldn't use any other doors and our windows don't operate to allow anyone in. I had to call my boyfriend to come over and move it for me so I could get in. Recently the spare bedroom I workout in has been overtaken by gnomes and I've opened my bedroom door to a gnome in the hallway. He even put it in the shower. This is not a good way to help me get past my phobia.

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Careful. Beyond that door is gno man's land.

Have you tried a window? Or at least a broom to push it aside?

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Have you tried a window? Or at least a broom to push it aside?

This is your dads way of telling you to leave and don't come back! Seriously just call a friend or ask a neighbor to move it somewhere far away from you. Problem solved!

I don't blame her. You either find them rather cute or extremely creepy.

Well I do, for christ's sake you're grown up. Man up, break that goddamn gnome and kick in the door.

Or a back door? Every house/ apartment is required to have a second door.

Why take shit from inanimate garden decorations?

Or pick up a big rock and smash it to pieces! It'll 1. Make you feel better, 2. Probably make you feel dominate over your fear of gnomes, 3. Show your dad up, 4. Make a mess for your dad to clean up because you're too afraid and if it doesn't get cleaned up, the shards could injure someone. Not to mention, it will probably relieve a lot of stress. I'm sorry your dad is being an ass. I hope you can get over it OP.

I have to agree with Metallica, The bell tolls for that gnome. Fight fire with fire.

Phobias are, by their very nature, irrational. I'm emetophobic. I'm scared of puke. It reduces me to panic attacks. It's not cool to tease someone with a real phobia of something. And this sounds like a real phobia, not like 'Ew spiders I don't like them' by genuinely 'this thing terrifies me'.

My house only has one door to the outside.

I'm emetophobic, too! *High five*

Well I guess my apartment building isn't up to code because I have no back door. Just one way in, one way out.

For those of you who have no back doors. *chuckling to self, I seriously suggest you move. There is a good reason why you should have two accessible exits in a building. Helps to keep you from burning to death in a fire.

41-since when is it a requirement for every house to have a back door? My house doesn't have one and we've never been told that it's a requirement

actually not every apartment or house us required to have a back door

What if it was a level 90 gnome warrior in full pvp gear? A simple rock might not handle the situation.

I personally would work up the courage to run up to it and kick it as far as i could into oncoming traffic

SuperDaniel....you are amazing hahaha

Thank you :) I just like Metallica

Me too...as you can tell..

OP here. My key only works on the front lock so I couldn't use any other doors and our windows don't operate to allow anyone in. I had to call my boyfriend to come over and move it for me so I could get in. Recently the spare bedroom I workout in has been overtaken by gnomes and I've opened my bedroom door to a gnome in the hallway. He even put it in the shower. This is not a good way to help me get past my phobia.

Sounds suspiciously like my father...

Are they ceramic gnomes? A pellet pistol will surely help you over your phobia

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Thanks, couldn't have figured it out without you man

Troll dad strikes again!!

Sounds like dad is wanting you to move out.

i cant even ...

Careful. Beyond that door is gno man's land.

Bravo! I don't gnome many puns myself :(

LOL! Not very sensitive but very funny nevertheless!

This is gnomething I don't approve of.

:O maybe gnomio just found his Juliet!! What about the back door?

Gnomio and Juliet doing it in the back door might not be the best idea.

Gnomio and Juliet doing it in the back door might not be the best idea.

I can't blame ya. They're fucking creepy!!

Use the back gate if there is no lock.

You would know there is a back gate... how ?

Take a really long stick and knock it really far out of your way.

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Yes, lets feed him something he's allergic to and cause actual health issues or, if it's serious enough, kill him. Sounds like fair payback.

Both good ideas 0.0

That's when those plastic spiders from the dollar store come in handy

I don't think death is a good revenge tactic

Just walk past it but dont look at it and pretend its not there, thats what i do with my brother when we got a 10cm house spider in straya mate

Yew straya! Don't look at them, they can sense fear!

I tried that with a spider once and it jumped at me. I screamed so loudly my neighbor texted me and asked if I was okay. Naturally, I had him come over and kill it.

Holy shit, I think that if I saw a 1o cm spider, I would just cry. "it's okay, spider, I didn't need my house. I'll just pack my things and I'll be out of your way in no time.."

10cm is a baby xP I just grab a thong and smash the fuck out of it until it dies haha. Good ole Straya ;) Funny how large spiders don't phase me, but moths reduce me to panic attacks. When you have a phobia you can't just creep past it/not look at it. Knowing it's there is enough to people with phobias.

lmao that's what i do when i need to put something down /get something from our counter at night . i just close my eyes in fear of cockroaches. cause i know ill freak out if I see one .Especially if I'm carrying fragile stuff.

Oh lord, I'm the same way with house centipedes. Those fuckers are creepy as hell. And 100, you're a lot tougher than I am, lmao.

I'd be afraid of waking up with a gnome laying next to me. Keep that in mind, and be wary, OP!