Love, Sex and Intimacy: Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm... - FML

By notmyday - 25/02/2009 23:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 049

You deserved it 8 959

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 895

You deserved it 7 104

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Spicy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Hh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 635

You deserved it 17 862

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 884

You deserved it 2 542

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 4 729

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 603

You deserved it 36 577

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 513

You deserved it 15 564

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 1 762

By Hikara - 13/04/2009 13:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 529

You deserved it 24 371

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 753

You deserved it 89 069

Watcha doin'?

By DamnThatsHarsh - 16/10/2009 18:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show for her, when I noticed that she was looking off to the side instead of where she normally looks when she's talking to me. She was playing solitaire on her computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 419

You deserved it 4 345

Next

Top comments

BrandOldDucky 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 4:46

Wow. Step up your sex game bro...

Bauer_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:16

Hey, you can't miss an episode of LOST or else you'll be even more confused!

Comments

gregthestrange 3

Thursday 26 February 2009 6:51

owned by a tv show

usoundfamiliar 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 7:00

Even if you did ******, it wouldn't have been better than the best show on TV.

what_is_love 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 7:07

LOST the game? damnit...

LinkToEverything 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 7:45

HEY GUYS LETS USE TIVO YEAH!

itsfuntobesexy 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 12:55

Wow @ #51. What an ass! Sorry that happened to you. Must've been a good episode. Next time that happens to you (assuming there is a next time) you can come over to my house =) I'd never do such a thing.

KatieWagnerFab 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 16:40

You guys wont die because you missed LOST

Lick_yer_face 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:11

In her defence, the new episode was fecking good. I know I'd prefer watching it than having sex.

genius_man16 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:28

wow, really? I can't believe this many people say that LOST > sex. What a sad, sad world we live in. It's not even a good show! wtf! i would rant about the show, but that would take awhile

tech_guy 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 21:34

why doesnt she have a DVR?

Radiohead225 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 21:44

i dont need a man to have an ******....i just need LOST :) haha j/k I WISH mmmmmmmmmmmm LOST SAWYER and DESMOND :)

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 151

Today, I found an old Bible in a box of my boyfriend's stuff. I despise religion, so I threw it away. He freaked out when he found out, screaming that it was a "family heirloom". I don't care if vile, hateful trash is an heirloom or not, I'm going to get rid of it. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2 167

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 744

Today, after I'd bought a daily planner to write down my plans and my accomplishments for this year, we're now in March and it’s completely empty. I realized that I have no goal, no plans, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 262

Today, my dad has gone to two different relatives’ weddings in two different states this month alone. I also found out about his big birthday celebration, his BBQ and his trip to Vegas. I saw it all on Facebook. I’ve not been invited to anything, and he never visits me. I live an hour away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 131

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 777

You deserved it 358

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 625

You deserved it 7 292

Today, I think my friends were trying to tell me something with all my Christmas gifts being mostly perfume, deodorant, and soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 634

You deserved it 30 525