Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
Today, my Orthodox Jewish cousin’s father called his wife’s Reform Jewish family “a bunch of monkey lovers” in his Bat Mitzvah toast. Worst yet, he did basically the same thing at his daughter from his first marriage’s Bat Mitzvah toast, and mentioned this fact in the speech. FML
Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML
Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our drive with his car. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé’s family’s house for dinner. They put pork and/or alcohol in EVERY. SINGLE. DISH. Including putting bacon grease in the desserts. They know I’m Muslim and his mom insisted I was being rude for only drinking water. We ended up leaving with me in tears. FML
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Top comments
chumponimys 0
Does anyone even know what kosher is?! I am a conservative jew, and the jews started kosher to keep healthy. Because before we had refrigerators, if you ate meat and dairy in the same meal, you would most likely get sick. if you ate pork which is considered a dirty animal, you would also usually get sick. Kosher also prevented you from drinking from certain wells, and other safety hazards. Today, the only reason that jews keep kosher is to keep the tradition. Just because the family is breaking the laws of kosher, it does not mean that they are not jewish, it only means that they are not orthodox.
_DANTE_ 0
Yeah, by that logic, Christians should keep Kosher too... Their Bible might be an extended version, but it's still starts off as the SAME book. Everybody picks and chooses which laws they want to follow and which laws don't fit with contemporary lifestyle... and YES, the pork and shellfish ban is because of health reasons back in those times. You weren't supposed to eat shrimp because they're bottomfeeders or pigs because they walk around in thier own filth... Nowadays, though, we have technology to cook and disinfect the meat we eat, so there is no real reason to follow Kosher law. Conservative Jews only do to be "traditional". - A Reform Jew who loves bacon cheeseburgers
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Comments (105)
Chuffy 0
More reason to question religion. Reality is so much better. Fewer people getting killed because some bush in a desert said so...
ozymandias_fml 0
Original Post, Original Poster, or something along those lines.
cheer_leader247 0
@ 63 its Judaism not jewdaism
khatuba 0
OP means "original poster."
Eelusive 0
Pork chops taste good, bacon tastes good. Do as you like OP.
zeppelin9000 0
"my son's Jewish summer camp" Well there's your problem.
relative_2string 0
My family is Jewish and we don't keep kosher either, except during the holidays... Your son made a mistake, but at the same time I'll admit what he said was rather disrespectful. But now he knows not to mention your (and all modern Jews) non-traditional ways in front of the more "traditional" Jews lol
Abirys 0
Lol tht sux
christopherlove 0
Then you all had to name your favorite book and your son said "Mein Kampf," right? lulz
Ligerie 0
lol the kid sounds awesome
philosopher 0
Never heard of a Jew who didn't keep Kosher...
plexico 4
Most of us don't.