Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I'm German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, my teacher laughed at the "irony." Something like this always happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML
Class dismissed
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said, "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Indoctrination?
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
Kids, it doesn't get any better
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML
Top comments
MrConned 0
Damn son, sounds like an orgy gone wrong.
DocBastard 40
Just tell him you're going to go Samurai Nazi all over his tuchus.
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Comments (244)
baby_shaker9000 5
youre a gerjapanew!!!!!!
ghettoblaster 5
I'm Japanese German Cuban! And my half sister is Japanese German jewish like you too! I know what you mean...
dwkiely 0
lol idiot. might as well be a serial killer Muslim while your at it
GeneralMotors 23
it is funny and ironic :)
Andy08642 0
Weird cause I'm a black Asian... can't beat that
fml98kevin 4
lol
Bearish 0
That's not really something to complain about on FML is it? It's not that bad or good, it's a story lol.
hurray4jmk 1
Well it its ironic. Get over it. I'm Irish, British, and French. They all hated each other. IRONIC.
hurray4jmk 1
P.s. Be proud of your background. So what people crack jokes all the time. I get drunk jokes all the time and get called a mick. The brits are bland and the french can be assholes... mix all that together and you get ME! Tell people to stfu and look to their own shit
Cyberphobia 0
Sinkhole, Jews, unless someone has converted in their family background, DO share common ancestry. Converts aren't that common anyway. These days, it takes around two years and costs around $2000 Australian to convert to Judaism. Otherwise, if the Jewish mother married out, the kids would still be religiously full Jewish but racially half Jewish.
Sinkhole 26
A little research tells you that, for example, Ashkenazi Jews and Sephardic Jews are both "Jewish." However, whereas Ashkenazi Jews often hail from Europe, Sephardic Jews often hail from the Middle East. People of many different races have become Jewish over the centuries. So no, they don't share a common ancestry.
fthku 13
Sephardic Jews don't "often" hail from the Middle East or Africa, and neither do Ashkenazi Jews "often" hail from Europe, that is their very definition- Sephardic Jews are Jews from the Middle East (Not including Israel, of course), or Africa, and Ashkenazi Jews are Jews that come from Europe. Sorry if I'm being anal on the wording. All Jews (Non-converted) do share a common ancestry, as all are descended from the "Hebrews", which had spread all over the world due to their exile from ancient Judea by the Romans. (A disaspora)
Sinkhole 26
Sorry about the wording, I should have said that I was quoting there, those weren't my words exactly. The thing is that, common ancestry is not required to be a Jew. I was saying that they don't share a common ancestry because you can be a Jew no matter where you're from. When people talk about Jews being a race, they can't exclude the ones who are Jewish because they converted, they're still Jewish. I know that you're not exactly saying that they're a race, but still, if we were talking only about non-converted Jews, their race would be Caucasian 'cause that denotes the physical type of the population of that region.
fthku 13
Caucasian it wouldn't be, because of the Sephardic side- Black Jewish people from Ethiopia, and very dark skinned-slight dark skinned from the Middle East. So you can't define all Jews as one skin color. :) I know what you're saying, but that's why I said that all *non-converted* Jews share a common ancestry.
Sinkhole 26
The term Caucasian in common use is used when referring to light-skinned people, or what you would call white people. But, historically, it describes the entire population of Europe, North Africa, the Horn of Africa, West Asia, South Asia and Central Asia, without regard to skin tone. In physical anthropology there would be differences, as one group would be Aryans and the others would be Semitic, even though those are considered as races, they're subdivisions of the Caucasian race. All non converted Jews share a common ancestry, but, like I said, common ancestry is not a requirement to be a Jew, so Jews in general don't share a common ancestry and that is why they're not a race. If they were a race, no one could convert and be Jewish.
fthku 13
I do not go into these matters of whether or not Jewish people are a race. :) I was just saying that non-converted Jews share a common ancestry, that's all. In regards to the term "Caucasian"- Well, I was referring to the modern meaning of it. :) But I do believe it doesn't include all of Europe or that you said. The word comes, obviously, from the Caucasus. That is, a region of Europe but not ALL of europe, and also a part of Asia. Of course, I'm not an expert, could be wrong.
Sinkhole 26
I mentioned that about the race 'cause I've always been talking about Jews in general, not just non-converted Jews, but I know that you never said if you think they're a race or not :) The part about "entire population" wasn't in reference to Europe, it was to emphasise that it's regardless of the colour of their skin, that was a bit ambiguous from my part.