Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss's wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men." I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
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Top comments
Terezi 0
Maybe she sent it to the wrong person by accident.
HahaHokayThen 10
calm down. maybe she was drunk. haha
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Comments (201)
byrd120 0
well save the text and if she fires u, u have proof of sexual harassment and can sue
ImDugEFresh 0
are you kidding? save the text, talk to her about it, and sue for sexual harassment/hostile work environment if she takes action against you. Jesus. that's a golden ticket, NOT an fml.
proski 0
wish you luck
Newenglandneisha 0
SUE
dumbfunk29 0
pretend u didnt get the text.
Judus_beej 0
one of the only good things hr is there for. use it to your advantage. or make your husband a very happy man with a 3 some lol I mean if he can man up to 2 women at once. some guys can't handle it. just saying.
46215 0
hey u should tell your husband and have a 3 sum wit your boss I bet your husband is ok with it is she's good looking too
pokerjedi 0
I think it was Favre. Did you ever work for the Jets?
lalagirl912 0
chew it over with twix..
Flipflops4ever 0
The boss wants her badly...may b for work? Like a new project? Doesn't say the boss mentioned anything related to sex. May be OP is purposefully presenting an innocent text in a twisted way to get some laugh.