Miscellaneous: Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy...

By wtf did i do?? - 11/01/2013 22:22 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 318

You deserved it 3 238

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Same thing different taste

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 762

You deserved it 258

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 332

You deserved it 2 232

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 3 979

By failure - 28/10/2013 00:41 - United States - Shreveport

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 615

You deserved it 4 616

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 3 782

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 249

By Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 640

You deserved it 2 507

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 239

By dinapar - 14/07/2009 14:02 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 947

You deserved it 4 966

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 4 087

perdix 29

Saturday 12 January 2013 5:06

Why do you have to try to be sweet? Are you normally a bitter dick?

megpie20693 11

Saturday 12 January 2013 5:02

Maybe you caught her in a bad mood?

Comments

mandachea10 8

Saturday 12 January 2013 9:03

Bitchhhhh.

onorexveritas 23

Saturday 12 January 2013 10:02

what a bitch thing to say. I hope you talked it out with her

Satoaoi 13

Saturday 12 January 2013 11:17

oh hell no if that was me she would be gone and the hunt for a more appreciative person would begin

FastidiousPear 6

Saturday 12 January 2013 11:23

Dump the bitch

Yongchi 11

Saturday 12 January 2013 11:37

Your name, OP... "wtf did i do" Nothing. PMS or period happened, or she is just rude and unappreciative of your love.

Squygm 7

Saturday 12 January 2013 12:18

If she doesn't want to be with you, she can leave. You don't need someone who's there because she's bored.

LMFAOwned 9

Saturday 12 January 2013 14:36

You must be a pain in the ass lol

9onbreak78 11

Saturday 12 January 2013 15:21

Pffttt, date a guy instead then. ****, I'm all up for that shit. LOL!

evebright 5

Saturday 12 January 2013 16:31

Doomed to fail. Dump her and RUN

love_me_electric 20

Saturday 12 January 2013 17:18

I feel like we're no getting the whole story; maybe this happened after they had a fight? I can't imagine anyone saying that for no reason.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 996

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

The Top

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 86

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 157

You deserved it 8 973

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 835

You deserved it 2 278

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 429

You deserved it 28 871

Today, I was trying to cope with my emotions so I could hold them back, but mom made it worse by inviting my niece, who is only attracted to my sister-in-law AKA Mommy, and she will cry till she gets her way. What a fucking day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 179

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 8 036

Same thing different taste

Two-stroke

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