Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
aileen15 15
man I wonder what your parents thought when they walked in on you probably terrified ...that's so ****** weird and gross and crosses the line to the max u sooo deserve it for actually agreeing to it even for money that makes u real desperate and sad THATS YOUR BROTHER!!!!!
Zombiegirl420 1
You think he could have gotten someone other than his sister to give him a hicky
jaketheford 0
Can't help but think this would have been funnier if you were both dudes. Still hilarious though. Y totally DI
perdix 31
So, what would you do for a Klondike Bar? I'll bet your parents were most upset about your brother's money management skills. 50 euros is way too much for a hickey! You can get a ******** for $20 US (or so I've heard), so a hickey should be that or less.
AvikC818 8
He should have used a vacuum cleaner
aerogxt 7
So basically you're an expensive hickey hooker?
Leigh_Badd 1
^^^ This made me LOL!!
ImSoEffedUp 10
Forget being a LOSER...he, no, you're both sick individuals.... Wow...
WitchyArmyWife00 0
You're both losers for being that desperate and sick, him for asking and you for complying.
etiennerheaume_fml 0
This is the definition of AWKS
jaketheford 0
I think you mean incest (jk)
momo1972 3
Nice!! That's one for your shrink