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Looks like you're up shit creek without a paddle, mate!

Please illustration of this!!!

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Thats a shitty situation.

Please illustration of this!!!

That is absolutely disgusting... I'm so sorry that you were caught in that situation!

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Sounds like someone was playing a game of mousetrap!

Nah, just sounds like whoever left the door open was being a turd.

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I'm certain everything has definitely drowned in deuces.

The way it's worded makes it sound like everything is blocked by a river of crap, so he can't get to his stuff. But the fact that the door was left open makes it seem like it should be covered in crap. Wonder which it is? If your stuff is actually covered in crap then your life sucks infinitely more; if it's only blocked by a river of crap, than your life still sucks but it's still a bit better.

Is there a way to part the black sea? Build a bridge? Is the shit deep?

Don't you mean the brown sea? :P

Incoming shitty situation puns:

come on. if any FML deserves "shitty situation" commentary it's this one