Animals: Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's...

By tbright010 - 08/04/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 516

You deserved it 4 626

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 159

Self-defeating move

By Steve - 12/05/2021 11:01

Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 100

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 251

You deserved it 3 713

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 808

You deserved it 5 162

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 98

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 3 869

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 3 405

Pink tax

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 774

You deserved it 2 214

By mike h - 10/08/2012 04:37 - United States - Mcadoo

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 458

You deserved it 4 806

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 02:00

Today, I took my dog for a basic spay and dental cleaning procedure. When I picked her up from the vet, I was reading through the surgery papers before they sent me away. They'd pulled 29 abscessed teeth and didn’t feel the need to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 291

Wdgames 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 4:59

Kinky

Banana_Pancakes6 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 5:02

Admit it, you loved it.

Comments

hammerfall26 6

Saturday 9 April 2011 12:15

don't eat a sandwich while you do it.

dubsweets 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 13:33

that is interesting how?

JanisEvans 10

Saturday 9 April 2011 14:15

Good for you. It's a handy skill to have.

AKALurch 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 18:22

Omg there Is alway Tommorrow to do stuff stop being dramatic

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 9 April 2011 21:11

I don't quite think that was the point...

makitokito 14

Saturday 9 April 2011 18:34

been there done that

tbright010 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 19:16

ha too bad when I submitted this I didn't put that it was interesting.. that's weird.

SuperLee_fml 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 22:21

Learn something new everyday

rallets 22

Sunday 10 April 2011 0:02

whaaaaaaa?!?!?!?!?!

heyred 11

Sunday 10 April 2011 0:36

Your dig would agree that is an important skill.

ifmlftw 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 3:30

WHAT THE ****

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The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 136

You deserved it 2 047

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 206

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 3 441

Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 445

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 1 132

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 576

You deserved it 2 153